Get to Know a Nephew - Run All Night

Welcome to the NoJR's inaugural installment of the "Get to Know a Nephew" series!

Our very first Nephew is Run All Night. Throughout the years, his team has gone by many names, most of them related to Liam Neeson blockbusters:

• 2011: Falmouth Falcons
• 2012: The Night's Watch
• 2013: SilverLiningsPlybk
• 2014: Non-Stop
• 2015: Run All Night

While the team names may have changed throughout the seasons, his winning percentage has consistently been among the top teams of NoJR, including a league record of .633 in 2013.

Without further ado, my interview with RAN...

Bruce Chen - A TDZ Career Retrospective

A day I hoped would never come finally has - the greatest Chinese-Panamanian baseball player in MLB history has retired today.

After 17 years in the bigs, Bruce Chen ends his playing career with a winning record (82-81), over 1,000 strikeouts (1,140), 1 shutout, and so many laughs, memories and friends from the 11 teams for which he played:

• Atlanta Braves (1998-2000)
• Philadelphia Phillies (2000-2001)
• New York Mets (2001-2002)
• Cincinnati Reds (2002)
• Montreal Expos (2002)
• Boston Red Sox (2003)
• Houston Astros (2003)
• Baltimore Orioles (2004-2006)
• Texas Rangers (2007)
• Kansas City Royals (2009-2014)
• Cleveland Indians (2015)

In honor of his impressive staying power in the bigs, TDZ has created the Bruce Chen All-Stars Sporcle quiz so that future generations will remember the man who played with some of the game's greats.

A proud Panamanian, Chen also pitched for Panama in the World Baseball Classic in 2006 and 2009.

During the offseason, Chen studied civil engineering at Georgia Tech (according to Wikipedia), which will perhaps lead to his next career if he decides to forego a coaching role.

The Danger Zone applauds Bruce on his career in Major League Baseball and wish him luck in his future endeavors. 

Messi vs. Boateng

My favorite video from the play...

Fast Reacts from Draft Day - 2015 NoJR: Another Year Older, Another Year (None the) Wiser

The Nephews of Jody Reed assembled Sunday night for its annual draft day extravaganza, and it was a fun show! For starters, the league finally has a keeper system in place, meaning that...

1. Every team can count on at least a few draft picks not being terrible buys, and...
2. The draft only took 3 hours instead of 3 and a half

The keeper system certainly introduced a new dynamic to draft day as I witnessed a number of players going well above projected value. It seems that the extra cash emboldened many GMs to target very specific players for their roster, and they were willing to pay extra and show those guys the money. 

Change Rod Tidwell to Matt Harvey and you get the gist of our draft.

However, perhaps our targets were a bit modest, given that many teams finished the draft with a surplus of unspent cash.

Ultimately, I hope every GM is excited with the team they've got, and let's not forget that free agency is a gold mine as new stars emerge. But until those players present themselves, here's TDZ's picks for the top picks and possible bust candidates for each squad.

Transcend It Like Beckham - The 2014 UMassBallers Season Revue

Another UMassBallers season is in the record books and I, for one, am not sad to see it go. There were many infuriating events that occurred throughout the year, from injuries to suspensions to inexplicable coaching decisions, and generally the worst football I've ever seen. However, one GM was not fazed by the season's events...

Wow, and this team was almost .500.

Forte Shades of Jay is your 2014 UMassBallers Champion! He had a conservative draft, but then floated like a leaf on the winds of week-to-week waiver wire opportunities, collecting crucial roster mainstays like Odell Beckham, Jr., Delanie Walker, and ex-Serious Cat wideout Mike Evans, who conveniently waited until departing my team before erupting for primo points on a weekly basis.

There was a lot more that happened over the course of the year, though - let's take a look back at all the highlights and hilarious bloopers, from the draft through the playoffs.

Past season champions (w/ links to season revues):

• 2008: Amherst Tropics
• 2009: Chicago Ferrets
• 2010: Todo o Nada
• 2011: Farts Are Funny
• 2012: Farts Are Funny
• 2013: Nickel Blitz

Roster Freak Out - Week 15

After a sterling regular season, I thought about shutting down the RFO and basking in the glow of a near century-mark performance, but if everyone else gets to have a playoffs, why not my team of ragtag ruffians?

Doge Flutie will have to wait til next year to add a trophy next to his collection of Grey Cups.

Here's how it works - we are now in crunch time. Rather than having the RFO beat any team's score, the team will instead have to beat one of the top 4 contenders, otherwise the season is over. If by some miracle I make it past this week, then I have to score higher than one of the 2 teams in the championship. Think I can do it? Me neither.

This week, the RFO is selling out - all selections will be corporate-sponsored. You thought my guys were playing for pure, inane blog glory, but they're really playing for the Man...

Roster Freak Out: Week 14

The RFO has started to slump in recent weeks. Interestingly enough, its record is a mirror reflection of my real fantasy team (10-3 vs 3-10), leading me to hypothesize that I need to return to abject futility. However, Serious Cat is dead now, and we all need to move on. Let Doge Flutie's whimsical side-eyed glance entertain you for the coming years, and also defeat you on the fantasy gridiron!

This week I wanted to keep the fun rolling with more themed selections, so I'm rolling with special 90's icon selections. I actually picked these players first before making the puns, so I promise you'll really enjoy how much you roll your eyes at these. And away we go...