Roster Freak Out: Week 14

The RFO has started to slump in recent weeks. Interestingly enough, its record is a mirror reflection of my real fantasy team (10-3 vs 3-10), leading me to hypothesize that I need to return to abject futility. However, Serious Cat is dead now, and we all need to move on. Let Doge Flutie's whimsical side-eyed glance entertain you for the coming years, and also defeat you on the fantasy gridiron!

This week I wanted to keep the fun rolling with more themed selections, so I'm rolling with special 90's icon selections. I actually picked these players first before making the puns, so I promise you'll really enjoy how much you roll your eyes at these. And away we go...


QB: Andy "Darren" Dalton - Former Phillies catcher Daulton helped the team to the World Series in 1993; NFL's Dalton still trying to figure out what "advancing in the playoffs" is.

WR: Nate "Denzel" Washington - With Hunter out (lacerated spleen, wow), Washington will display Courage Under Fire re-entering the starting lineup, leading sports commentators to say He Got Game still, leading his team to Glory and causing all to Remember the Titans. Or will it be Much Ado About Nothing as they send The Bone Collector to pick up his Fallen remains after The Siege of the Giants?

RB: Chris "Randy" Johnson - Kicking the tires again on the speedster; CJ's hair slightly longer than Randy's glorious mane.

TE: Jared "Marv" Cook - Jared and Marv two solidly mediocre TEs; after his zero point performance last week, of course I want more.

W/T: Scott Chandler Bing - A friendly pass environment for TEs in Denver.

W/R: Greg "Peter" Jennings - Solidly mediocre results with Bridgewater; Jets coverage much looser than Peter's.

W/R: Doug "Funnie" Baldwin - Expecting a good performance in what could be a higher scoring game; highlights to be shown on Nickelodeon.

K: Shayne Graham Coxon - I have never seen the kicker and the Blur guitarist in the same place - coincidence? I think not.

DEF: Indianapolis 500 - I believe the last time anyone cared about this race was back when the Unsers were winning it.


RESULTS:

QB: Andy "Darren" Dalton - 26.28 points

WR: Nate "Denzel" Washington - 5.6 points

RB: Chris "Randy" Johnson - 6.6 points

TE: Jared "Marv" Cook - 18.1 points

W/T: Scott Chandler Bing - 8.1 points

W/R: Greg "Peter" Jennings - 5.2 points

W/R: Doug "Funnie" Baldwin - 15.7 points

K: Shayne Graham Coxon - 3 points

DEF: Indianapolis 500 - 11 points

TOTAL: 99.58

Oh man, what a way to cap off the final week of the fantasy regular season! This might be an all-time record score for the RFO.

Defeated this week: Farts Are Funny, Cash4Gould, Nickel Blitz and denis's Neat Team.