Thursday, September 13, 2018

2018 Roster Freak Out - Week 2

There's a storm coming... and it's definitely not the RFO based on last week's performance.


Hope none of you live in the Carolinas. I'm in DC so the bigger issue will be flooding. #soggydoge




The RFO is a disappointing 0-1, so I'm not gonna make the same mistake as last time and submit my lineup early. Below is my "living beings" team.

QB: Yak Prescott - He's pretty much only good at home and only against bad teams.
QB: Nick Foals - He's not looking good, but Tampa Bay will cure what ails 'im.
WR: Kelpvin Benjamin - Maybe the Bills will get a first down before half time.
WR: Ryan Ant - 9 targets from Andrew Duck last week.
RB: James Mite - Should have a solid role with Pony still limited in practice.
RB: Cat Breida - I just don't see Alfred giving Shanahan what he wants.
TE: Ricky Seals-Jones - Oakland kept on targeting TE for a reason against the Rams.
W/T: Mohamed Shamu - He can't have a whale of a game... orcan he?
W/R: Dante Lettuce - Seems like he'll serve as the #2 receiver against a bad Lions D.
W/R: Mike Walrus - Doubling down on the Beagles passing game.
K: Brandon McManatee - His kicks will float majestically.
DEF: Los Angeles Chargerms - Germs are living things, too.


RESULTS

QB: Yak Prescott - 14.9 points
QB: Nick Foals - 15.66 points
WR: Kelpvin Benjamin - 7.9 points
WR: Ryan Ant - 3 points
RB: James Mite - 8.4 points
RB: Cat Breida - 21.9 points
TE: Ricky Seals-Jones - 1.7 points
W/T: Mohamed Shamu - 1.5 points
W/R: Dante Lettuce - 3.5 points
W/R: Mike Walrus - IR (broken tusk)
K: Brandon McManatee - 8 points
DEF: Los Angeles Chargerms - 11 points
TOTAL: 97.46 points

A fairly respectable sum compared to last week, but not enough to upend anybody.

If I had to do it over again, I'd go with Calvin Squidley over Shamu, and Bessie (the cow) James over Seals.

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