Confused but Amused - Recapping the 2018 UMassBallers Draft

This year's draft had a variety of firsts:

• First time drafting with 8 teams
• First time drafting with 2 QB slots to fill
• First time with 20 total roster spots to fill (previously 16)
• First time Doge Flutie spent the most money on a player ($60 for Todd Gurley II)

I'm still at a loss as to what the appropriate draft strategy should have been, but I'm pretty sure spending over half my money on just 10% of my player slots was NOT the answer.

Seemed like a good idea at the time...

That being said, a doge's enthusiasm never wavers, which is why I mustered the wherewithal to push work aside and focus on what matters, which is a fast-react recap of the draft. Read on to see who my "gold grabs" and "pyrite picks" were.

	Gold Grabs	Pyrite Picks
smackycat	Matt Breida ($5) - Could he be for Kyle Shanahan what Devonta Freeman was for him in ATL? Randall Blobb ($2) - Hear me out: he's still only 28, and no more Jordy means lots of targets up for grabs.	Leonard Fournette ($36) - He's just too fragile for my liking. I expect him to miss a few games every year.
Sweaty Sac	T.Y. Hilton ($15) - He averaged ~1,200 yards and 6 TDs with Luck prior to last year. Jay Ajayi ($18) - After quitting the Blount, Ajayi is finally the clear lead for rushing yards and TDs.	Alex Smith ($4) - I am so down on the Redskins, I just don't see any upside here. I expect the Sac's Andy Dalton pick ($2) will produce more points.
Neat Team	Josh Gordon ($7) - Easily the biggest boom or bust pick in the draft, but he's trending up in my mind. Dion Lewis ($5) - Last year showed he can carry a bigger load; I think he produces more pts than Henry.	Odell Beckham Jr. ($41) - I don't really hate this price, but IF Eli regresses hard and IF Barkley takes away touches, this pick wouldn't be very neat.
mangenius	Mike Evans ($29) - Every even year he gets 12 TDs. #analysis LA Chargers DEF ($1) - Really like what I saw over the last half of 2017. Ingram & Bosa are a great combo, though the latter needs to get healthy.	None - AUTO-DRAFT IS KING
Cash4Gould	Doug Baldwin ($14) - I'm interested in seeing if he gets more TDs with the departure of red zone hog Jimmy Jams. A.J. Green ($25) - Can't believe such a top tier receiver dropped down to this price!	Dez Bryant ($11) - I believe Gordo is back, meaning when Dez comes crawling back to the Browns they will lift up their noses defiantly and hilariously.
Chicago Ferrets	Kenyan Drake ($14) - Reluctantly drafting a well-regarded Dolphins RB is the most Spalding draft move ever. Chris Carson - ($5) I find it amusing when analysts act like there's competition for the RB1 role in Seattle. It's all Carson. I assume Pete Carroll knows this....	Derrick Henry ($12) - I just don't see the appeal. He's huge, but I've never seen him move the pile. He's not particularly elusive. Dion seems like the better back in all respects.
Nickel Blitz	Rex Burkhead ($6) - His production per touch was great last year, but he's got to stay healthy. Adam Thielen ($15) - He's got a better QB, so his floor should be quite high.	Chris Hogan ($16) - Should have a bigger role, but do we believe he's worth more than Doug Baldwin ($14) or T.Y. Hilton ($15)?
Doge Flutie	Trey Burton ($3) - Flashed offensive ability last year, and could have a big role in a promising offense. Gronk insurance. Michael Gallup ($1) - May be the leading pass catcher for a completely overhauled Dallas receiving corps.	Todd Gurley II ($60) - Imagine this team if Gurley gets injured. This GM is seriously dumb. Rob Gronkowski ($27) - He's an injury waiting to happen and was $10 more expensive than Kelce. This doge is a derp-aholic.

Early, early power rankings:

1. smackycat
2. Sweaty Sac
3. Chicago Ferrets
4. Nickel Blitz
5. Neat Team
6. mangenius
7. Cash4Gould (might move up a slot or two when Bell returns)
8. Doge Flutie

That's all I've got for now. Enjoy seeing these hot takes get upended in the coming weeks!