2018 Roster Freak Out - Week 1

Like in past years: imagine you didn't show up for the fantasy draft, and auto-draft wasn't even working, leaving you with a completely empty roster to start the year. Who would you pick up to play each week?

Derp.

That's the premise of my weekly Roster Freak Out series, which I totally forgot to do yesterday, so now I'm stuck picking only players who are unowned for the Sunday and Monday nights games. If my team of rejects outscores any of the UMassBallers, I score that as a W. If not, it's a L.

We'll have to find out whether an 8-team league improves or worsens the RFO. My guess is this year will be nearly impossible since there are so many more roster slots to fill. But the RFO is nothing if not intrepid - let's roll...


Given limited options, this is by far the worst RFO I've ever fielded, but I am somewhat pleased that they all fit a domestic/home theme.

QB: Derek Jar - Let's see just how bad Screw-den ruins his development.
QB: Vase Daniel - Because knowing my luck, Tru-biscuit will get injured. No other starting QBs are available!
WR: Mince-y Enunwa - I'm intrigued to see how Yarn-old plays and which WR he favors.
WR: Geronimo Alli-bun - High yield passing offense where anything can happen.
RB: Creole Rib (w/ a) Kick - Always manages to have a role, though backfield is crowded.
RB: Pie Montgomery - Maybe they'll use him as their passing down back.
TE: Jared Cook - Somebody's got to be the Raiders' red zone target.
W/T: Tailor Gabriel - Feisty slot receiver might do well with the Pears' new offense.
W/R: Rug Martin - If he plays, the Hams defense is going to walk all over him.
W/R: Kevin Sprite - The Pears would probably trade him for a can of Sprite.
K: Mason Jar Crosby - I'm on pins and needles wondering which of my "jar" players scores more points.
DEF: Detroit Lye Bins - I'm sure somewhere lye comes in a bin.


RESULTS:

QB: Derek Jar - 6.22 points
QB: Vase Daniel - 0 points
WR: Mince-y Enunwa -12.3 points
WR: Geronimo Alli-bun - 12.9 points
RB: Creole Rib (w/ a) Kick - 3.5 points
RB: Pie Montgomery - 2.8 points
TE: Jared Cook - 18 points
W/T: Tailor Gabriel - 2.5 points
W/R: Rug Martin - 1.7 points
W/R: Kevin Sprite - 0 points
K: Mason Jar Crosby - 7 points
DEF: Detroit Lye Bins - 6 points
TOTAL: 72.92 points

Some intriguing performances from some of these selections, but a whole lot of nothing with the paucity of remaining options. We're on to Week 2.