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| GLaDOS sent a cake to celebrate. |
Be sure to tune in to the draft on Thursday, January 26 at 8 pm on the NBC Sports Network. Is that a channel people actually have? I don't know, I don't have TV.
Anyways, to prep you for a magical All-Star weekend, I review the NHL season thus far and give out mid-year awards that you really, truly care about.
The Golden Globes were awarded just last weekend. I can't think of a more fitting prelude to these meaningless midseason prizes. On to the winners...
The Kinda Calder (Rookie of the Year) - Ryan Nugent-Hopkins
This past draft year was supposed to be a weak one, but RNH said nuts to that. He averaged nearly a point per game before injuring his shoulder. His absence over the last few weeks has really hurt a once plucky Oiler offense, but if he comes back and performs like he did before, he'll lock up the award over fellow rookie and Serious Cat teammate Adam Henrique.
The Lame Lady Byng (Best Sportsmanship) - Who cares.
To qualify, you have to be a good offensive player who goes an entire season without getting into a fight. Bo-ring.
The Somewhat Selke (Best Defensive Forward) - Jonathan Toews
For clarification, his last name is pronounced 'Tayves,' as in "His last names is Toews, you knaves." He's not only having his best offensive year ever, he happens to be leading the league at the face-off circle (61.4%) and in takeaways (68). As you can see, he's a possession machine. On a related note, he never learned how to share as a kid (evidence of not playing nice below).
The Almost Adams (Best Coach) - Ken Hitchcock
It's remarkable how consistently well the St. Louis Blues play despite a lack of star power. As of today, they are the second-best team in the league based on points; last year, they didn't even make the playoffs. You can't get results like that without every player buying into a system, in particular a defensive system that works really well.
The Nearly Norris (Best Defenseman) - Erik Karlsson
Though he's only in his third year (most defenders don't develop this quickly), there's a compelling case to be made that he's ascended to become the best defenseman in the league. For starters, he's the top scoring D-man in the league by a wide margin (45 points to 34), and his 41 takeaways (leading all others at the position) and +8 rating for the upstart Senators are a big reason why Ottawa is not as incredibad as expected this year.
The Viable Vezina (Best Goalie) - Jonathan Quick
This might be a bit controversial, but I'm picking the UMass alum over the likes of Henrik Lundqvist and Tim Thomas due to an incredible save percentage (.934) despite playing a greater volume of minutes than both of his competitors. He leads the league with 6 shutouts, and without him the punchless L.A. Kings would probably be cruising to a top draft choice this coming offseason rather than on target for a playoff spot.
The Realistic Richard (Most Goals) - Steven Stamkos
He wins on a technicality, as he has 31 goals and second place has 26. Good for him, but next time try winning a subjective award like everyone else.
The Approximate Art Ross (Leading Scorer) - Evgeni Malkin
Same thing here - Geno leads the league in points with 55, but will that number make him deserving for other trophies?
The Halfway Hart (MVP) - Evgeni Malkin
The fact of the matter is that Geno has been malkin' a great case for himself for MVP this year with sensational play that has kept an injury-riddled team in the playoff picture. If you had asked me a couple weeks ago, I probably would've selected my boi Claude Giroux here, but a slump from Giroux and Malkin's great play through adversity snags hockey's top regular season prize.
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