New York Yankees: Annoying Year Round

Just when you thought the only major piece of major offseason news would be the market in which Prince Fielder would endorse McDonald's burgers, the New York Yankees bolstered their pitching staff in a big way yesterday.

First, the Yankees pulled off a blockbuster trade with the Seattle Mariners, swapping catching prospect Jesus Montero and random pitcher Hector Noesi for Michael Pineda and 19 year old pitching prospect Jose Campos.

Then New York signed 37 year old starter Hiroki Kuroda to a 1 year, $10 million deal.

If there was one thing I could count on, it was that Yankees pitching would provide hearty guffaws throughout the year, but now all I have to expect is tedious competence. Analysis after the jump.



Let's break down the trade first as it was the biggest shocker.

The Yankees get...

Holy crap, run from the batter's box while you still can!

Michael Pineda: For my less baseball-lovin' readers, Pineda is basically the Dominican version of uber-hyped Nats rookie Stephen Strasburg, except 6 months younger, more proven (>9 Ks per 9), and without a major arm surgery. The Yankees will now be able to lock up this elite pitcher for many years to come, meaning I will be forced to loathe a career that I was otherwise very much looking forward to.

What's an AquaSox? They're not even trying with these names anymore.

Jose Campos: This Venezuelan is only 19 and projects to be a MLB caliber starter down the line (scouting report here). He already throws in the 90's, so he'll likely spend his time in the minors just harnessing his location and developing secondary pitches to play off the fastball. What a kick in the nuts if this guy pans out, too.

The Mariners get...

Trenton Thunder, now there's a good name (and uni).

Jesus Montero: This guy's no slouch, but he's just not as proven at the major league level yet, plus I've heard complaints about his defense. I expect he'll eventually thrive and give the Mariners some much needed pop in their lineup, but I would rather err on the side of locking up young arms than pursuing big bats.

Brian Cashman's call to Hank Steinbrenner: "I also threw in Noesi ... you know, Hector Noesi ... no, the guy who always looks pleasantly surprised ... yep ... yep ... ok ... I don't know, I guess Santa imports grain to feed the reindeer ... yeah, I doubt a greenhouse would work up there ... ok, love you too, bye."

Hector Noesi: He's soon to be 25 (oldest player in the deal) and will provide a warm body for the Seattle roster.


The Yankees sign...

His face is kind of funny, I guess. Ugh, no it isn't, I'm grasping at straws here!

Hiroki Kuroda: The Japanese import has been a consistent performer during his time State-side. Though he is getting up there in years, he posted his best ERA last season at 3.07, and he's one of the better K/BB guys out there. Transitioning to the AL East at this stage of his career may (hopefully) be a rude awakening, but his steady competence will probably bore me and provide few laughs.