2012 Miami Marlins - "The World Is Yours"

In an ironic twist, the Marlins are going fishing... for big name free agents! And there appears to be no end to their acquisitions, as they've targeted the top free agents at nearly every position. With a new stadium, new uniform, and I can only assume new yeyo importing opportunities, the Marlins are turning into the Tony Montana of MLB.

As if drugs didn't pay for this incredible stadium. Oh wait, it was public tax dollars. Same corrupt diff.

Check out some of their signings to-date among others they are targeting.


Manager: Ozzie Guillen

"In this country you gotta get the crazy manager first. Then when you get the manager, you get the players. Then when you get the players, you get the wins. Then when you get the wins, you get the money. Then when you get the money, then you get the women."

Ozzie is the most flamboyant and outspoken manager in baseball by a wide margin, which is perfect for a team looking to generate buzz. Even the way he came to Miami - by trade - is noteworthy, as managers are almost never traded for players. He helped bring a championship back to the Windy City, and his players have historically been very loyal to him. Given the array of talent Miami is signing, that strength can't be underplayed. His win-at-all-costs mentality is in stark contrast to a team that has coasted on revenue sharing dollars for profit for numerous years. Furthermore, he is a proud Latino who will likely endear himself to the large Latin community in south Florida. Love him or hate him, I think Ozzie was a strategically sound choice that will pay off for this team.


Closer: Heath Bell

Yes, my signing bonus was unlimited sunblock.

Now begins the players portion of the Marlins overhaul. Heath Bell led all of baseball in saves over the past three year period, averaging 44 saves a year. It's only fitting that the Marlins signed him for his next three years, for $27 million. Bell is a big improvement over Leo Nunez, who changed his name back to Juan Oviedo... actually, maybe the Marlins got the wrong guy. If Nunez/Oviedo doesn't endear himself to Cuban defectors, I don't know who would. Then again, there is that whole thing about winning ballgames, in which case Bell's a great choice.


Shortstop: Jose Reyes

I bet he's thinking "Wow, I can only handle this guy in small doses." Ooooops.

Reyes came up with a great year at just the right time, winning the NL batting title in 2011 and allowing him to earn a 6 year, $102 million deal with the Marlins. While he's still got the wheels, I question his durability, and the pop he had 3-5 years ago doesn't seem to be there so much now. Even with those concerns, he's easily a top 5 shortstop in the league, and moving out of Citi Field to a warmer climate may be the boon he needs to stay healthy. The field dimensions for the new ballpark look rather spacious straightaway and to the gaps, so pick Reyes early if your fantasy league counts triples! (Worst. League. Ever.) Ultra-talented pain-in-the-ass Hanley Ramirez will likely move to third base to accommodate Reyes.


First Base: Albert Pujols

Yikes.

You'll recall that Pujols may have been hoping to be baseball's first $300 million man. Well, reports are out that Miami has put an offer on the table to lock up Albert for 10 years. While I haven't heard a precise dollar amount, it is over $200 million by most accounts. Pujols is the greatest hitter of his generation and has two World Series titles, including one from this past year. Many pundits agree that he was largely responsible for how the Cardinals were a winning team for so many years, and I agree with them. He turns 32 this January, and regardless of whether the contract is a good idea or not, he'll likely transform this franchise into an instant title contender should he sign. Watch the news closely over the next few days...


Starting Pitchers: C.J. Wilson and Mark Buehrle

If you can only sign one, go with Wilson for having a delivery that looks like a Tetris piece.

The Marlins have either pursued or signed the top closer, shortstop, and first base free agents, so why not a couple of starters to complete the set? C.J. Wilson has had two successful seasons as a starter for the Texas Rangers, and was recently wined and dined by the Marlins. He does not have a long track record, nor did he do particularly well in the playoffs last year, but he was 7th in the league among pitchers in WAR. In contrast, Buehrle has a very long track record and wins 13+ games like it's his job.

There are very few other options at starter this offseason, meaning that the Marlins would have to pay a premium for either player, but what's a few million more on the payroll when you're the Tony Montana of MLB?