NBA Draft 2011: "Because we have to do it every year" Edition

Few drafts have provided as little fanfare as this year's. Typically at least one or two big names grab your attention while some talent lingering in the later rounds provides some intrigue, but I'm hard-pressed to find any superstars coming out of this lol-worthy draft. Nevertheless, let's chew the cud on the night's studs and duds.

Without further ado, here are the arbitrary awards for the draftees...

Most likely to be a quicker version of Stephen Curry: Kyrie Irving

One reason why this draft lacked much hoopla is that the #1 pick only played 11 games last year. Still, what he showcased was strong: amazing percentages (a Curry-esque line of .529, .462, .901), quickness and solid D. Plus anytime a freshman can score 30+ against top 25 caliber teams, you know he's got to be good. Still, I wonder if his size limits his durability... like Stephen Curry.


Most likely to befriend the incomparable Kevin Love: Derrick Williams

Aside from being his future teammate, Williams has an inside track on friendship thanks to having a similar perimeter game. DW shot a ridiculous 56.8% from the college arc, meaning they can totally hang out together downtown. Only problem is that they play the same position, and Love will likely box him out of playing time just like he boxes out the NBA in general for those rebounds. Still, having depth is never a bad thing.


Most likely to get tired and need a sub: Enes Kanter

The guy hasn't even played a game of basketball in the last year. After being disqualified from NCAA competition for benefits paid by his old Turkish club Fenerbahce, Kanter sat around at Kentucky's campus and just practiced with his college team. Adjusting to an NBA game pace and physicality off the bat might be interesting. Still, if he's a professional (as the NCAA ruling determined), then I imagine he's doing his cardio; all jesting aside, I think he could be the best player in this draft assuming his knee issues don't return.
I also like the fact that he's in Utah with fellow countryman Mehmet Okur. Let's see these Turkish twin towers do some damage.


Most likely to bite on an up-fake: Bismack Biyombo

This kid's arms are crazy long. His wingspan is 7'7", even though he's 6'9", crapping all over da Vinci's Vitruvian Man. This allows for amazing rebounding and blocking ability, but he's a project that's going to need a lot of schooling before playing with wily NBA veterans. Based on his first name and athleticism, he'll be an entertaining defensive player to watch, and maybe he'll develop into a Serge Ibaka-style offensive player, too.


Rodney Dangerfield award for not getting any respect: Kemba Walker

It seems like no matter what he does, Kemba can't get the props he deserves. He literally carried UConn on his back to a national championship, but still couldn't secure a top pick. For the longest time I thought maybe it was because he was a senior and older than other prospects, but I just noticed he's a freaking sophomore! I guess some GMs just don't like winning.

I don't understand either, Rodney.

Some compare Walker to a former number 6 pick, Jonny Flynn, but Walker is a much better value this year at #9. Kemba's a better leader and a way better scorer. Feel free to call me crazy, but if you fuse Flynn and Allen Iverson, you get Kemba: a great scorer with some of Flynn's skills/mediocrity thrown in.
Charlotte's had numerous problems ever since the team was founded, but one of the biggest is its consistent leadership vacuum. Now they can focus on the other hundred issues.


Most likely to be Dennis Rodman minus the crazy: Kenneth Faried

I've already mentioned that Faried is a total beast, so I'll keep this short. All you need to know is that he averaged a Kevin Lovely 14.5 RPG and his shooting percentage was a Shaquilicious 62.3%. He's got the motor and smarts around the hoop to get the job done, and I don't expect that to change in the NBA. Hopefully he'll take over for neck-tattooed free agent Kenyon Martin for significant minutes at PF.

Soon to be a familiar sight in Denver.

Most desperately trying to recapture "that Rashard Lewis magic": Orlando Magic featuring Justin Harper

Solid 3-point shooting: check (44.8%). Avoids the low post: check. Mediocre rebounding: check. Yep, we have the trifecta!


Most likely to act a fool: Jeremy Tyler

Take a look at this rundown: he left high school after his junior year to play abroad. Decided to play in Israel. He was also recruited and committed to Louisville, which confuses me for 2 reasons: 1) playing for money makes you ineligible to play in the NCAA, and 2) he didn't graduate high school. Moving on:

• Averaged 7.6 minutes and 2.1 PPG for Maccabi Haifa in Israel
• Was ejected for head-butting an opponent
• Walked out on his team at half-time for lack of playing time
• Was a "DNP-Coach's Decision" for other games
• Left the team entirely with 5 weeks left in the Israeli league's season
• Landed in the hottest NBA prospect development league around: the JBL (Japan)
• Averaged 15.6 minutes, 9.9 PPG, and 6.4 RPG against the top competition in the Orient, excluding the Chinese pro league of course

I imagine the Warriors were going for some Odd Couple hilarity by having this Jeremy's locker next to their other Jeremy, Jeremy Lin of Harvard. Oh, the conversations they'll have!

The "Let's see if Stern can pronounce this one" award: Los Angeles Lakers, featuring Chukwudiebere Maduabum