This is truly a special time of year. A season of hope. A season of good cheer. A season of miracles. And the greatest miracle of all? Doge Flutie has finally won the UMassBallers!!!
The league has existed for 11 seasons, 10 of which I have participated in. It wasn't til my 9th season that I even placed in the top 3, and in #10 I finally reached the summit! You have witnessed a fantasy football fanatic finally reach peak
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| Houston, we have touchdown. |
- 2009-2013: $20 per season ($100 total)
- 2014-2018: $100 per season ($500 total)
- 2018 winnings: $800
- Net result: +$200
There were many other interesting events and storylines from the fantasy season though, so let's revel in all of the moments that made the 2018 UMassBallers season
The Draft
Every year, I do some simple math to try to arrive at a value for each
team's draft - below is a simple calculation of drafted player points
(Weeks 1-16) per dollars spent. Rather than simply dividing by the $200
budget, I divided by the actual dollars spent, since the remainder could
be carried into the regular season's waiver budget.
Chicago Ferrets - 16.027 (last place)
smackycat - 14.859 (3rd place finisher)
Doge Flutie - 14.165 (league champion)
mangenius - 13.788 (league runner-up)
Cash4Gould - 12.825
Neat Team - 12.770
Nickel Blitz - 12.770 (4th place finisher)
Sweaty Sac - 12.761
One
thing to keep in mind is that QBs almost always end up with the most
total fantasy points, so a GM that drafts more QBs will generally
look better using this analysis.
Due to the new format, with more roster spots and 2 QB slots, ALL of us actually beat the previous record for points per dollar spent, which was 11.967 by The Others in 2013. (However, I still contend that smackycat's 2017 draft was the best of all-time at 11.509 because he only drafted 2 QBs rather than 3 for The Others.) Everyone, give yourself a pat on the back for an "amazing" job.
So these numbers basically represent a new normal which we can't compare to previous seasons, however there are some interesting things to point out just looking at the list itself. In general, the best teams in the league are near the top of the list, but what are the Ferrets doing up there?!
Due to the new format, with more roster spots and 2 QB slots, ALL of us actually beat the previous record for points per dollar spent, which was 11.967 by The Others in 2013. (However, I still contend that smackycat's 2017 draft was the best of all-time at 11.509 because he only drafted 2 QBs rather than 3 for The Others.) Everyone, give yourself a pat on the back for an "amazing" job.
So these numbers basically represent a new normal which we can't compare to previous seasons, however there are some interesting things to point out just looking at the list itself. In general, the best teams in the league are near the top of the list, but what are the Ferrets doing up there?!
I took a deeper look at Spaldoge's draft, and in general he did a great job selecting QBs: Andrew Luck, Deshaun Watson, Drew Brees, and Carson Wentz were all draftees that boosted his point total. He also benefitted from having two of the best WRs drafted (DeAndre Hopkins and Michael Thomas). So the issue had to be at RB, right? You are correct: he traded Brees for a virtually useless LeSean McCoy, and he dropped his two best RBs - Chris Carson and Derrick Henry - after they started really slowly. The lack of quality RB starts was brutal!
So if that was actually the best draft, you almost have to shudder thinking who the worst was. Well, for the second year in a row Sweaty Sac gets our fantasy draft Razzie. His issues were due mainly to bad luck: Jay Ajayi went on IR early on, LeSean McCoy was awful (but was flipped for value), Evan Engram and Jamison Crowder were kind of pointless. But I think the big thing was simply drafting bad QBs: Andy Dalton, Alex Smith, and Case Keenum were either ineffective, horribly injured, or both.
I was actually shocked that Cash4Gould wasn't the worst after spending $58 (29% of his budget) on players who never played a snap: Le'Veon Bell and Dez Bryant. But somehow, the Sac found a way....
All-Seward Purchase Team
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| Who got the last laugh, Thomas Nast? Ohhh man, egg and your face were in alignment! |
QB: Patrick Mahomes - Doge Flutie - $2
I had a feeling he'd be decent just on the basis of learning from Andy Reid, but I had no idea he'd be THIS good. Coming into the season, I had Mahomes (a complete mystery) and some combination of Sam Darnold, Mitch Trubisky (who was decent even though I hated him), or QB Browns as my second starting option. I lucked out big time. Mahomes finishes 2018 as the #1 fantasy producer with 392.74 points, which was 70 more points than second place (Ben Roethlisberger). This is gonna be a fun guy to watch for many years to come.
Honorable mentions: Ben Roethlisberger - mangenius - $5; Matt Ryan - Cash4Gould - $6; Mitch Trubisky - Doge Flutie - $1
It's amazing what a change of scenery has done for this guy. With the Bills, he wasn't fantasy relevant, but with Sean McVay's Rams he is a star, out-producing his more well-known Rams teammate, Brandin Cooks, by 32 points. He finishes the season as the #9 WR in fantasy. Sadly for C4G, Sweaty Sac swindled Woods away!
Honorable mentions: Tyler Lockett - Nickel Blitz - $2; Kenny Golladay - mangenius - $1
Let's be perfectly clear: it makes zero sense for a football player to hold out for money when their playing careers are so short. Especially when a franchise tag can pay you quite handsomely; I was shocked when Le'Veon Bell forfeited a year's worth of pay ($14.544M). As the drama unfolded, smackycat's modest investment in James Conner became one of the steals of the draft. Despite missing his last three games with an ankle injury, Conner totaled 1,376 total yards and 13 TDs en route to finishing at the #7 RB in fantasy.
Honorable mentions: Nick Chubb - Cash4Gould - $1; Adrian Peterson - Doge Flutie - $1; Tarik Cohen - smackycat - $1; Aaron Jones - Neat Team - $1
TE: George Kittle- Neat Team - $1
This is the second year in a row where Neat Team has made the neatest TE selection. Kittle was the most consistent fantasy producer for the 49ers (which I realize isn't saying much), but his stats don't lie: 1,228 receiving yards and 4 TDs. It will be interesting to see what kind of bump he gets from a full season of Jimmy G.
Eric Ebron was a close second place - another incredibly neat selection (690 yards, but 12 TDs).
Eric Ebron was a close second place - another incredibly neat selection (690 yards, but 12 TDs).
Honorable mentions: Eric Ebron - Neat Team - $1
All-Madoff Team
On the flip side, here are the bogus draft picks that didn't make good on their promises and provided the least value.
QB: Jimmy Garoppolo - Nickel Blitz - $7
Most QBs played at or near their potential, but Jimmy G. was a bust after making a dumb decision to lower his shoulder to take contact instead of just running out of bounds. He tore his ACL on the play. The fantasy world was anxious to see what he could do in a full season of Kyle Shanahan's offense, but alas, we'll have to wait until 2019.
Dishonorable mentions: Aaron Rodgers - smackycat - $22; Carson Wentz - Chicago Ferrets - $7; Matt Stafford - smackycat - $5
WR: Dez Bryant - Cash4Gould - $11
Once he was signed by the Saints, I thought "wow, he might actually return value!" Less than a week after signing his contract, he tore his Achilles tendon and his career is essentially over.
Dishonorable mentions: Chris Hogan - Nickel Blitz - $16; A.J. Green - Cash4Gould - $25
Bell's decision to forfeit millions of dollars and miss an entire season of playing time will go down as one of the most boneheaded decisions by a player in NFL history.
Dishonorable mentions: Devonta Freeman - mangenius - $31; Jay Ajayi - Sweaty Sac - $18; Leonard Fournette - smackycat - $36; LeSean McCoy - Sweaty Sac - $16
I spent $10 more dollars on Gronk than Kelce, and $17 more than Ertz, making this the worst TE investment. He no longer has any lateral movement; his body now merely lurches in a disjointed fashion with duct tape holding him together at the seams. Back when he was healthy, though, he was the best there ever was.
Dishonorable mentions: Delanie Walker - Neat Team - $5
Terrible Trades
Despite having fewer GMs than in prior years, we actually had a whopping 5 trades occur in 2018. How much did they affect the final outcome of the season?
- September 7 - Sweaty Sac trades LeSean McCoy to the Chicago Ferrets for Drew Brees.
- This trade made sense on paper since the Ferrets had a surplus of QBs but a deficit of RBs. However, McCoy played on a disastrous Bills team while Brees was consistent and HOF-worthy as ever (32 TDs, 5 INTs).
- Winner: Sweaty Sac clearly got more value out of this one as McCoy was rarely deserving of being started.
- September 11 - Doge Flutie trades Julian Edelman to Nickel Blitz for Carlos Hyde.
- Doge was all-in for the Browns offense after picking up Baker Mayfield off free agency and then acquiring their ground game in Hyde. Hyde started off the year hot, scoring 46.5 points over his first three weeks with Doge before losing carries to Chubbo and getting traded to the Jags.
- Meanwhile, after waiting out Edelman's 4-game suspension, Nickel Blitz enjoyed fairly steady production from his favorite Pats WR, who averaged 10.7 points per game with fairly minimal variance.
- Winner: Nickel Blitz ultimately got better value over the course of the season. And they say I can't do an even trade!
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| So many Vikes involved in trades. |
- October 3 - Doge Flutie trades Dalvin Cook to Nickel Blitz for Adam Thielen.
- With Edelman out of the picture, Doge was on the hunt for WR help, and found it with Thielen. He started the year with 8 consecutive 100-yard receiving games (4 with the Blitz, 4 with Doge), and then came back to Earth, averaging roughly 8 points per game over the rest of the season.
- Nickel Blitz got some needed RB help, but Cook took a frustrating amount of time to return to health from a bad hammy (4 missed games). When healthy, Cook produced over 10 points per game in 6 of the 7 games in which he played for the Blitz.
- Winner: Cook's contributions ended up being too little too late as he averaged 7.95 points/game compared to Thielen's 11.94, post-trade, giving Doge the edge. That being said, I was immensely thankful not to face Cook in the playoffs!
- November 1 - Sweaty Sac trades Jordan Howard to Cash4Gould for Robert Woods.
- Howard was expected to have a solid floor heading into 2018, but Tarik Cohen carved out a substantial role at the expense of J-How. Ultimately, he scored a TD in only 3 of the 8 weeks after C4G acquired him, averaging 8.96 points per game.
- In contrast, Woods had a higher floor over those 8 weeks (one of which was a bye), never scoring below 6.1 and averaging 11.84 points per game at a (typically) lower volume position.
- Winner: Sweaty Sac wins another trade in this upgrade of his WR corps.
- November 13 - Doge Flutie sends Matt Breida to Cash4Gould for Kirk Cousins.
- Breida is an amazing talent - when healthy. He averaged 5.3 yards per carry and had a 25.2-point performance in the week preceding the trade. Unfortunately, his recurring ankle injury was again an issue, and he averaged only 6.38 points per week including a missed game.
- Meanwhile, Cousins was a roller coaster ride. Against bad competition, he was great. Against good competition, he was awful. But during the weeks I actually played him, he provided value in excess of my next best option. His biggest week was a clutch 27.38-point performance against mangenius in Week 12, and this exact matchup was the reason I traded for him because Mahomes was on bye. Thanks to Cousins, I managed a wild 208.2-199.68 victory sans Mahomes and Gurley.
- Winner: While neither was a spectacular grab, I'm going to give Doge the edge for this one since Cousins directly helped generate a win I otherwise would not have gotten. Breida was mostly a nonfactor for C4G.
Trades
were one way to improve our teams, but most turned to free agency and
the waiver wire. In the heat of competition, some of us went a tad overboard in our eagerness to acquire certain player....
Most Hilariously Wasteful FA Bids:
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| He led the Bills to the playoffs, but all he got was a backup job and years and years of people mispronouncing his name. |
- Sweaty Sac: Giovani Bernard for $52 (just edging out a $7 bid by Neat Team)
- To be fair, Neo Gio had a solid couple of weeks post-pickup (36.2 total points for Weeks 3-4), but he got injured and never scored more than 4.6 points afterwards.
- Doge Flutie: Tyrod Taylor for $41 (beat a bid of $5 by Sweaty Sac)
- Faced with only one good QB on the roster, I was hoping to get a running QB on a solid offense, but a quick injury and the instant impact of BAKER quickly made this bid an egregious overpayment.
- Chicago Ferrets: Marvin Jones Jr. for $27 (beat a competing bid of $13 from Doge Flutie)
- Jones was riding high with a 117 yard, 2 TD performance when the bids rolled in, but he only played 2 more weeks, averaging about 6 points/week, and then hit IR to save the Ferrets from their misery.
- mangenius: Raheem Mostert for $19 (beating out a $3 bid by smackycat)
- With Breida often injured and Alfred Morris playing more like Alfred Molina, Mostert ascended into some carries. He got 1.8 points the next week, then a surprising 14.6 points on just 7 carries in Week 9 before he descended to the IR underworld.
All-Free Agent Team
Every
fantasy season sees the emergence of unforeseen stars, and some of us
are lucky to snag them throughout the year. Here's my list of the top
free agents that made an impact in 2017.
QB - Eli Manning (QB16) and Baker Mayfield (QB17)
Like the peons in Monty Python & the Holy Grail, Eli Manning isn't dead yet, but it certainly wasn't pretty. In contrast, BAKER played 13.5 solid games and showed tremendous promise despite a pretty weak receiver group.
Although he was the QB21 in fantasy this year, I would also give Josh Allen an honorable mention here since he was shockingly good on a per game basis, including 23.7 points/game over the last 6 weeks.
Like the peons in Monty Python & the Holy Grail, Eli Manning isn't dead yet, but it certainly wasn't pretty. In contrast, BAKER played 13.5 solid games and showed tremendous promise despite a pretty weak receiver group.
Although he was the QB21 in fantasy this year, I would also give Josh Allen an honorable mention here since he was shockingly good on a per game basis, including 23.7 points/game over the last 6 weeks.
WR - Tyler Boyd (WR17), Calvin Ridley (WR18), and Mike Williams (WR20)
Calvin and Mike benefited from double-digit spikes, with Ridley getting off to a scorching start while Williams did more of his damage late in the year. Meanwhile, Boyd emerged as a solid #2 receiver for the Bengals, often offering a solid yardage floor. He hit IR prior to Week 16 with over 1,000 receiving yards and 7 TDs.
RB - James White
(RB11), Phillip Lindsay (RB12), Gus Edwards (RB44)
With much of the Patriots offense dealing with injury (Gronk, Michel, Burkhead) or suspension (Edelman, Gordo), it was Sweet Feet who emerged as the most reliable weapon on the team, totaling 12 TDs and 1,176 yards from scrimmage. Meanwhile, rando UDFA and local CO boi Lindsay was the surprisingly effective (1,278 total yards, 10 TDs) lead back for the Broncos, beating out draft day dud Royce Freeman. Finally, I picked the Gus Bus over Austin Ekeler because the Raven had impressive production (718 rushing yards, 2 TDs) despite only starting the last 7 weeks of the season.
With much of the Patriots offense dealing with injury (Gronk, Michel, Burkhead) or suspension (Edelman, Gordo), it was Sweet Feet who emerged as the most reliable weapon on the team, totaling 12 TDs and 1,176 yards from scrimmage. Meanwhile, rando UDFA and local CO boi Lindsay was the surprisingly effective (1,278 total yards, 10 TDs) lead back for the Broncos, beating out draft day dud Royce Freeman. Finally, I picked the Gus Bus over Austin Ekeler because the Raven had impressive production (718 rushing yards, 2 TDs) despite only starting the last 7 weeks of the season.
TE - Jared Cook (TE5)
He was the most reliable pass catcher (896 yards, 6 TDs) on a team no one wanted to play for. Also, the TE position is so bad.
He was the most reliable pass catcher (896 yards, 6 TDs) on a team no one wanted to play for. Also, the TE position is so bad.
K - Ka'imi Fairbairn (K1)
The FG-tryin' Hawaiian led the league in FG (37) and had just 5 misses, only 3 of which counted for negative points. On a points per game basis, he was second only to Greg the Leg.
DEF - New England Patriots (DEF4)
Despite mustering only 30 sacks all year, the Pats finished 3rd in INTs (18), to go along with 10 fumble recoveries, 3 TDs, 2 blocked kicks, and a partridge in a pear tree.
Despite mustering only 30 sacks all year, the Pats finished 3rd in INTs (18), to go along with 10 fumble recoveries, 3 TDs, 2 blocked kicks, and a partridge in a pear tree.
Odds and Ends
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- Doge Flutie finished the regular season with the best record at 10-4, and 12 total wins including the playoffs. The UMassBallers record is still 14 total wins, set by Farts are Funny in 2011.
- Chicago Ferrets had sole possession of last place at 2-12, setting a new record for regular season losses! The previous record was 11 losses, set by Car RamRod in 2016.
- Despite the putrid regular season, the Ferrets eked out two wins in the consolation playoffs and finished the season in 5th!
- Not surprisingly, Chicago Ferrets was also the lowest scoring regular season team at 1,772.08. This mark will have to serve as an ignominious new record low given the new roster format; the league's all-time low point total of 888.54, set by IdChokeTilaTequila2 in 2009, is simply not comparable.
- The lowest single-week point total was 80.72, set by Cash4Gould in Week 10. Similarly, this figure is nowhere near the league's all-time low from the prior roster format: an abysmal 29.32 by Car RamRod in 2016.
- C4G's Week 10 dud also was part of the largest margin of victory this season, with Doge Flutie winning by 96.88 points. The all-time record, however, is still Deals and Steals 111.76 point margin set in 2013 - the one lasting moment of glory for our friend Simon, who was one of the worst performing GMs in league history.
- Doge Flutie led the league in scoring with 2,218.32, which will serve as the new top benchmark. The previous record was 1,722.7 points, set by Nickel Blitz in 2013 - a mark that every team in the league exceeded this season.
- Deals and Steals' prior record of 179.92 will live on in our memories, but this sum was exceeded 11 different times in 2018. The top single week performance was 208.2 by Doge in Week 12. The only other member of the 200 Point Club is mangenius (Week 6).
- The largest championship margin of victory remains Forte Shades of Jay's 63.56 margin in 2014.
- There were two players who were on each of the last two championship rosters: JuJu Smith-Schuster and Jamaal Williams, who was an unused late roster addition by Doge.
That's all I've got - congrats to ME for sticking around for TEN YEARS of UMassBallers and finally lucking into a championship! Two QB format RULZ!
Hope to see everyone return next year! In the meantime, enjoy the real-life playoff games.
Past season champions (w/ links to season revues):
- 2008: Amherst Tropics
- 2009: Chicago Ferrets
- 2010: Todo o Nada
- 2011: Farts Are Funny
- 2012: Farts Are Funny
- 2013: Nickel Blitz
- 2014: Forte Shades of Jay
- 2015: Nickel Blitz
- 2016: Chicago Ferrets
- 2017: smackycat
INEVITABLE DOGE CHAMPIONSHIP PARADE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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