2017 Roster Freak Out - Week 12

UMassBallers, I can't even keep track of all the wins for the RFO in recent weeks - deserved or not. I'm gonna guess that I'm 7-4 because I seem to remember the RFO had the same record as Doge Flutie. Excuse me, playoff-bound Doge Flutie.

Real-time depiction of Doge's fantasy football effort.

If there's one thing I learned from this season, it's to not even try in fantasy football, because it's all random. Life's too short to scour the waiver wires and make terrible trade proposals when you could be sitting back enjoying belly rubs.




I already missed out on three of the games from turkey day, meaning my picks below reflect an even more dire paucity of options.

QB: Throw Wacko - Is Throw Wacko elite?
WR: Eric Wrecker - I think a game against the Colts will finally get the Titans pass game going.
RB: Devontae Cooker - He's just an injury to Flanderson away from becoming an underwhelming bellcow for the Broncos.
TE: Benjamin Plotzin' - Doubling down on that... Ravens pass game?
W/T: Danny Ham-and-cola - Nothing like a ham-and-cola after Thanksgiving.
W/R: Pay Phones - Tyrod is back after a hilarious #Bills QB change last week.
W/R: Like Call Us - Tripling down on the Ravens pass game? This won't end well.
K: Bat Bryant - Kickers say domes make happy homes.
DEF: New Spork Pets - Because the other options were Smokeland and Hennessey.


RESULTS:
QB: Throw Wacko - 9.84 points
WR: Eric Wrecker - 2.3 points
RB: Devontae Cooker - 3.3 points
TE: Benjamin Plotzin' - 2.9 points
W/T: Danny Ham-and-cola - 0.5 points
W/R: Pay Phones - 9.3 points
W/R: Like Call Us - 4.8 points
K: Bat Bryant - 11 points
DEF: New Spork Pets - 1 point
TOTAL: 44.94 points

Wow, that was brutal. I'm going to have to step up my effort next week - and with Doge so I don't lose my bye week!