2015 Roster Freak Out - Week 12

This week's column is all about clearing up some confusion about the origin of the name Doge Flutie and the pronunciation of the word "Doge."

The original image that started a pointless internet fad.

First off, what even is a Doge? It's nothing more than a silly internet meme that took on a life of its own, of which Doge Flutie was the natural fantasy football pinnacle. It basically involves using the original or a manipulated version of this Shiba Inu dog(e), with a sideways glance and raised eyebrows, and then overlaying that image with short, often misspelled, phrases or individual words representing an internal monologue, always in Comic Sans font. The word "wow" is always included.

For the full history, I recommend you give this a read, but I'm going to warn you in advance, the full history is so mind-numbingly inane that I cannot believe people have the time of day to make memes like this a thing.

As far as how to pronounce "doge," there are two factions. It appears that most pronounce it "dohj" with a long o, and there does appear to be more of a historical basis for that, especially in the aforementioned article. However, "dogue" is also a viable pronunciation, as shown in the Wikipedia page for the meme. Personally, I love to use the latter - you wouldn't call someone your "dohj," but you could totally call someone your "dogue!"

As far as the numbers go, a Slate poll has "dohj" slightly ahead, but I believe "dogue" will one day overcome!

At 5-6, I need to win out to have any shot of matching West/Knile's record to earn a playoff berth. But with loads of banged up RBs, I will continue to Belief!

QB: Jameis Wishbone - Playing like a star lately.
WR: Candle Light - Mariota thankful to finally have a receiver back who can catch the ball.
RB: Al-bread Morris - Matt Jones has greasy fingers and can't hold onto the ball.
TE: Eric Apron - I cannot in good conscience select Jared Cook again, even with such a fitting last name.
W/T: Brian Fartline - You show me someone who doesn't get gas after Thanksgiving and I'll show you a liar.
W/R: Chris Giventhanks - Matt Blob will throw a flukey deep TD to this guy.
W/R: Andre Belly-ton - This belly will weigh a ton once the meal is over.
K: Fat Prater - Gonna kick a lot of balls through the wishbones.
DEF: Detroit Pie-ins My Stomach - Held Packers and Raiders under 20 points in consecutive weeks.

Not making the cut this week due to injury: Leonard Thankerson.


RESULTS:
QB: Jameis Wishbone - 14.5 points
WR: Candle Light - 1.5 points
RB: Al-bread Morris - 9 points
TE: Eric Apron - 2.8 points
W/T: Brian Fartline - 7.4 points
W/R: Chris Giventhanks - 5 points
W/R: Andre Belly-ton - 4.6 points
K: Fat Prater - 10 points
DEF: Detroit Pie-ins My Stomach - 10 points
TOTAL: 64.8 points

Noooooooo! So close to beating Nickel Blitz twice in one week!