Roster Freak Out: Week 13

Happy Thanksgiving to TDZ's readers! I don't have much to be thankful for from a fantasy football perspective: this week is the Basement Bowl, where Simon and I will try to escape the ridicule of being the worst team in the league. However, it's still been fun writing these columns, getting some nice wins with the RFO and embracing the whimsy of doges.

Like Halloween, I have themed picks this week in honor of Thanksgiving - enjoy these forced puns!

Roster Freak Out - Week 12

Time to bust out the weather reports before gameday...

Lake effect snow incoming...

Reports out of Buffalo that lake effect snow is blanketing the region, resulting in an expected 7 cumulative feet of snow on the grounds of Ralph Wilson Stadium by tomorrow.

With the need to move an estimated 220,000 tons of snow by game-time, the Bills are offering $10/hour and game tickets for those who come and help shovel the snow. Sounds like a good deal - go outdoors, get some exercise and compensation, but they lost me with the game tickets. Watching the Bills play the Jets live? Yeahhh, I've got plans I need to make, sorry.

Roster Freak Out - Week 11

Oh my goodness, I'd chronicle another successful week for the RFO, except I had the less likely occasion to celebrate a win by my actual fantasy team. Doge Flutie rulz!

Do you believe in miracles?!

It was a magical evening for Kelvin Benjamin, who was terrible all game and rewarded thusly with 2 garbage time TDs. Garbage time is the dimension in which Doge Flutie lives! 11th place, WOOOO!

Alright, I've settled down again, let's get to the RFO.

Roster Freak Out - Week 10

Pats are on bye and I'm feeling especially lazy this weekend, so here are my picks (belatedly):

QB: Mark Sanchez - For the record, I think he's terrible, but Chip Kelly has a way of maximizing a QB's performance.

WR: Allen Hurns - Seems to be a big play threat still.

RB: Chris Johnson - Just got that old fashioned feeling that he's gonna break out for a long run.

TE: Jared Cook - Back to the well for another pail of disappointment.

W/T: John Brown - Rams secondary = lol.

W/R: Riley Cooper - Now I'm doubly dependent on the Sanchize, oh boy.

W/R: Stevie Johnson - Expecting a shoot-out in NOLA.

K: Matt Bryant - All the Bucs defense knows is allowing points.

DEF: Kansas City - Hoping for Kyle Orton to be generous.

Roster Freak Out - Week 9

Well it was a pretty solid run for the RFO, but sadly I couldn't even match Simon's sub-70 score in Week 8. Had I picked Ben Roethlisberger, I would've easily remained undefeated, but I thought Indy's secondary was supposed to be decent this year. Yahoo's color-coded defensive ratings and projected points are the most annoying developments in recent years - I was better when I did my own research instead of being lazy and relying on theirs.

This week is the Halloween edition of the Freak Out, which means I picked these players almost entirely based on whether I could create puns out of their names. Let's hope they strike fantasy ghould!!!