Crash and Burn - The 2011 Boston Red Sox Aftermath

Weeks after the team's collapse, the Red Sox continue to make news as personnel changes take place and reporters give their accounts of the news. Perhaps the most widely read story was "Inside the Collapse" by Bob Hohler of the Boston Globe, which I would like to address.

Part of me would prefer to ignore this past season entirely and look forward to next year, but given the nature of the stories I've been reading, I'd be a poor fan not to acknowledge what's being said and dissect it for myself. Below are my thoughts.

Another Job Opening

Reports are hitting the internets that Theo Epstein may leave the Red Sox to become General Manager of the Chicago Cubs. It's a good move for the Cubbies: Theo already helped end one curse, why not another? I also predicted that the Cubs would win the 2014 World Series back in 2005, and this might boost the odds a bit more in my favor.

We're supposed to believe that a smelly goat 37 years after their last championship is responsible for their 100+ year title drought? Yeah, ok Chi-town.

As for this new opening with the Red Sox, I know one candidate who's perfect for the job: me. I'm available, able, and I would bring all the trenchant analysis and hot-nasty strategy to bear that you've come to expect here at TDZ. I will not comment on speculation that I would build the team around a "Big Bigs" strategy, only that the idea is under serious consideration.

Country Roads, Take Me Home...

West Virginia is the correct answer of this week's trivia question. As you can see in the map below, one of West Virginia's tentacles creeps up the western border of Pennsylvania. I don't know why the border's like that, but my guess is that the state is trying to slap Pittsburgh.

Unfortunately there was only 1 respondent this week, who said Delaware. I know there's more than 1 person reading, so c'mon people. There were 17 Russians who viewed my blog last week alone - where's the geography knowledge, comrades? My Dad answered me via email and got the right answer, but he didn't enter his answer appropriately, so only half props.

Hopefully this trivia question will get more responses from my international viewers:

Had to be done.

Which of the following people was not a leader of the USSR?

• Nikita Kruschev
• Andriy Shevchenko
• Josef Stalin
• Mikhail Gorbachev
• Konstantin Chernenko

Good luck!

The Sports Zoo

Humans have performed amazing physical feats over the millennia but, in spite of all our effort, our athleticism pales in comparison to other animals on our lively orb. Why else would we name so many of our sports teams after them?

Billy the Marlin embodies the traits of... abundant fish protein and, uh, low attendance.

If you were to accuse this blog of being human-centric, you'd be right, so let's take some time to appreciate the critters that crash our sporting events and showcase their amazing skills across the globe.

Job Opening

Without going into morbid detail, the Red Sox recently decided to forego a one year option on Terry Franconca's contract and now have a vacancy at manager. There are plenty of candidates to fill the position, but only one is perfect for the job...

NHL 2011-2012 Preview - You Care, You Just Don't Know It Yet

Yes, the distant #4 of the Big 4 sports will be back in session shortly, but it's not the red-headed step-child it once was. Though it lost an entire year due to a lockout, the NHL has grown notably since that time, including a $4.6 million increase in the league's salary cap this year in spite of the nation's stagnant economy (an impressive 7.9% increase). TV viewership is also up, and the league is (in my opinion) the most innovative of the Big 4 at this time.

Above: people caring.

What does this mean for you? You care about hockey. Deep inside each of us is someone who enjoys listening to Rush; thinks Trailer Park Boys compares favorably to It's Always Sunny; respects the sophistication and dignity of the mullet; thinks that Don Cherry is the epitome of fashion; recognizes that Mike Ricci is a handsome man; and knows that hockey is an amazing sport.

The Jagr theorem holds that hockey skills are directly proportional to mulletude.

Without further ado, I'll go aboot discussing the top players to watch for in 2011-2012.

Rocktober Trivia

Congrats to both trivia respondents this week! Kiefer Sutherland is the one actor who has not starred in a movie about baseball. He's been too busy saving America to bother with its national past-time, though he did wield a baseball bat as a mailbox-smashing ne'er-do-well in Stand By Me. This just goes to show you that there are never more than six degrees of separation between a TDZ post and this blog's insufferable nemesis, Wil Wheaton.

Where's the second "l" Wil? Where is it?!

For this week's question we move on to geography: which of the following states reaches the most northern latitude?

• Colorado
• Missouri
• West Virginia
• Maryland
• Delaware

*Whispering intensely* Give me the correct answer or I'll cut you!

Good luck...