Roster Freak Out - Week 12

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

QB: Ryan Blandfill - Blandfill: when your mashed potatoes don't have flavor and sit like a rock in your stomach.
WR: Adam Congealin' - When that gravy starts getting a skin on it.
RB: Benny Cunning-ham - Not a fan of this 'ham or actual ham on Turkey Day. Tryptophan only, please.
TE: Will Pie - Can't stop picking Pie for the RFO.
W/T: Marqise Pea - Don't forget space on your plate for a veggie.
W/R: Eli Pudgers - We are all Pudgers after the feast.
W/R: Davante Add Yams - Usually has a plump number of targets.
K: Andrew Thanks - Let us have gratitude that no one actually has to trot out this team.
DEF: Tennessee "Belt" Tightens - Don't be shy to let your gut out and watch Fat Barkley and the depleted Bears scuffle on Sunday.


RESULTS:
QB: Ryan Blandfill - 26.8 points
WR: Adam Congealin' - 5.3 points
RB: Benny Cunning-ham - 1.2 points
TE: Will Pie - 1.2 points
W/T: Marqise Pea - 9.9 points
W/R: Eli Pudgers - 3.6 points
W/R: Davante Add Yams - 23.3 points
K: Andrew Thanks - 7 points
DEF: Tennessee "Belt" Tightens - 4 points
TOTAL: 82.3 points

This is my best Thanksgiving team ever - both in names and production!

Roster Freak Out - Week 11

I know it's football season, but I have to share a couple amusing soccer .gif's I came across this week. How are these goalies so unaware of their surroundings and what the other team is up to.

Ugh, is the football season over yet? I'm about ready to hit the snooze bar - wake me up when the playoffs are here.

QB: Joe Whacko - Dallas secondary is dealing with injuries; let's see if Joe is elite or not.
WR: Jeremy Squirrelly - '9ers will likely be in catch-up mode all afternoon, making Squirrelly a garbage time special.
RB: Chris Stomp-some - Game flow will likely give him more snaps this week.
TE: Dennis Knitta - He'll knit together a masterpiece game if he doesn't get injured first.
W/T: Will Try - He's supplanted Barely Donnell and has nice target totals in his last 2 games.
W/R: Kendall Sprite - I like a receiver in a high yield offense, and Titans are on fire against middling Colts D.
W/R: Tyler Sprocket - No receiving TDs this year? He's due.
K: Sebastian Man-and-cow-ski - Man and cow skiing, future 2018 Olympic sport.
DEF: Pittsburgh Squealers - Against the Browns? Talk about a lay-up.


RESULTS:
QB: Joe Whacko - 15.36 points
WR: Jeremy Squirrelly - -1 points (lol)
RB: Chris Stomp-some - 1.9 points
TE: Dennis Knitta - 3 points
W/T: Will Try - 7.2 points
W/R: Kendall Sprite - 5.2 points
W/R: Tyler Sprocket - 3.9 points
K: Sebastian Man-and-cow-ski - 9 points
DEF: Pittsburgh Squealers - 24 points
TOTAL: 68.56 points

It always stings when I beat my real fantasy team...

Roster Freak Out - Week 10

Well, the election happened this week. I'm not going to get into any kind of political discussion. All I'll say is that this was my favorite campaign poster:

QB: Jay Butler - Expecting a shoot-out with the Bucs.
WR: Ted Chin, Jr. - KC DB's have been torched by speedsters before, and not as good on the road.
RB: Kenneth Fixin' - Gradually getting a larger share of snaps, trying to get back to preseason form.
TE: Jesse Shames - Due for a TD, otherwise SHAME!
W/T: Virgil Keen - Due for his first TD of the year, otherwise SHAME!
W/R: C.J. Procheese - Expect a lot of passing fromages (formations), which is all gouda for Procheese.
W/R: Dorial Mean-Heckle'em - He's been trolling the RFO for weeks, but ATL DB's struggle against larger receivers.
K: Slick Slovak - Everyone's favorite Bratislava booter is back in the RFO.
DEF: Chicago Dares - Three straight top-10 performances with lots of sacks; Winston's a turnover factory.


RESULTS:
QB: Jay Butler - 4.98 points
WR: Ted Chin, Jr. - 4.5 points
RB: Kenneth Fixin' - 8 points
TE: Jesse Shames - 5.9 points (SHAME!)
W/T: Virgil Keen - 2.4 points (SHAME!)
W/R: C.J. Procheese - 15.3 points
W/R: Dorial Mean-Heckle'em - 0 points
K: Slick Slovak - 7 points
DEF: Chicago Dares - 4 points
TOTAL: 52.08 points

A shamefully low point total. And I'm never picking ill-used Dorial again!

Roster Freak Out - Week 9

Oh what a week for Chicago sports fans! After 108 years, the Chicago Cubs are MLB champions at last!

I was in the Windy City for work and got to partake in all the thrills of Game 7 and even got to see the parade before flying out. Enjoy some this vid and some pics I took along the way.

I took a video of the parade, but the file size is huge, and I was in the second floor of a candy store that was playing really weird music, so the audio is hilariously bad.

QB: Ballin' Kaepernick - Just hoping he runs against the Aints because his throws look like whiffle balls floating interminably to no destination in particular.
WR: Molding State - 31 targets in his last 3 games.
RB: Jerick McWinnin - Vikings run game has been bad all year... they're due.
TE: Chance Kendricks - Panthers pass D is non-existent, even the Rams might capitalize.
W/T: Black Boil - This Colts TE been a surprising value here and there.
W/R: Marqise Knee - Bortles: so many throws, so little to show for it.
W/R: Dorial Spleen-Wreck'em - Big guy only has 1 TD, c'mon now.
K: Andrew Shanks - Hasn't hit double-digits yet... he's due.
DEF: Dallas Wowboys - Defenses love playing those Browns.


RESULTS:
QB: Ballin' Kaepernick - 22.22 points
WR: Molding State - 14 points
RB: Jerick McWinnin - 0.8 points
TE: Chance Kendricks - 9 points
W/T: Black Boil - 6.1 points
W/R: Marqise Knee - 9.5 points
W/R: Dorial Spleen-Wreck'em - 0 points
K: Andrew Shanks - 9 points
DEF: Dallas Wowboys - 10 points
TOTAL: 80.62 points

Thank goodness for Car RamRod!