Roster Freak Out - Week 5

Hi all, I just want to wish everyone a happy Indigenous Peoples' Day weekend. While many will have a random day off to celebrate Christopher Columbus, let's not forget that he was a prick who enslaved natives and governed his colony through torture and mutilation. The King and Queen of Spain actually had him replaced and eventually imprisoned after an investigation.

This is his jerk face.

Several states have actually begun celebrating Indigenous Peoples' Day, and while it seems like WAY too little too late, it's still better than celebrating a scumbag.

Wow, I did not expect to have a cause-related post for the RFO this week. So, on an unrelated note, you have to check out my link below about Jared Cook's recent chicken wing experience. I'm literally going to inspect every chicken wing I eat from now on.

QB: Philip Shivers - Oakland looks like a decent team, but their secondary doesn't scare me.
WR: Golden Gate - Terrible start to the year, but might get more targets with Ebron out.
RB: Jalen Richard - All it takes is one good series and he might get most of the carries on the day.
TE: Richard Dodgers - Jared Cook is out due to severe and ongoing retching after his experience at a Buffalo Wild Wings.
W/T: Will Dye - Donnell is out so should see a decent number of targets.
W/R: Thrice Butler - Had a lot of targets with Dez out.
W/R: Orleans Snarkwa - Somehow my boi Rashad is still injured, creating an opportunity for Snore-leans.
K: Brandon McGonagall - He's due for a 50-yarder at Mile High.
DEF: Baltimore Cravens - There are 3 things you can count on in life: death, taxes, and the Redskins to make you laugh.


RESULTS:

QB: Philip Shivers - 25.36 points
WR: Golden Gate - 4.5 points
RB: Jalen Richard - 9.7 points
TE: Richard Dodgers - 0.6 points
W/T: Will Dye - 3.7 points
W/R: Thrice Butler - 2 points
W/R: Orleans Snarkwa - 1.1 points
K: Brandon McGonagall - 12 points
DEF: Baltimore Cravens - 7 points
TOTAL: 66.05 points - I need Kelvin Benjamin to faceplant tonight...

... noooooooooooooooo.