Roster Freak Out - Week 8

The only thing I want to share with you as we head into Halloween weekend is this SNL sketch. Its inanity is matched only by the existence of this blog.

Any questions????? Here are my Halloween-themed picks for the week:

QB: Alex Sith - Colts D is always rubbish; dome makes for perfect playing conditions.
WR: Jermaine Hearse - Due for a TD in a cake match-up with the Saints.
RB: Ka'Deem Scary - Minnesota D is crazy good, meaning lots of 3rd and longs requiring their passing back.
TE: Charles Slay - Almost no healthy receivers for Bills; targets have to go somewhere.
W/T: Antonio Bates (Motel) - Similar situation to Mr. Slay.
W/R: Russell Leper - Had a breakout game last week, more of the same this week?
W/R: J.J. Hellson - Non-Fitz Cardinals receivers are injured or struggling, time for a step up.
K: Chandler Satanzaro - Time to make up for the shoddy performance against Seattle.
DEF: Detroit Flyin' Monkeys - Osweiler & Co. have no mojo right now.


RESULTS:
QB: Alex Sith - 9.98 points
WR: Jermaine Hearse - 5.7 points
RB: Ka'Deem Scary - 0.3 points
TE: Charles Slay - 0.6 points
W/T: Antonio Bates (Motel) - 9.3 points
W/R: Russell Leper - 8.4 points
W/R: J.J. Hellson - 19.9 points!
K: Chandler Satanzaro - 2 points (lol)
DEF: Detroit Flyin' Monkeys - 7 points
TOTAL: 63.18 points

Wow, some major duds for the RFO and Doge Flutie, but at least I didn't lose to myself.

Roster Freak Out - Week 7

Another week, another victory for the RFO, bringing my record to 4-2. Sometimes all it takes is a can-do attitude and a touch of ingenuity to make things happen.

QB: Colin Slap-or-flick - Decent floor if he runs and has contract motivation now.
WR: Breshad Merryman - Smith Sr. is out, Aiken is ailing, let the targets pile up.
RB: Strike Davis - Surprised no one picked him up as a bye week fill-in.
TE: C.J. Theodore-witch - Brock can't do much aside from checking down.
W/T: Jack Toil - Dwayne Allen is out, leaving this guy to be their red zone target.
W/R: Derriere Garcon - Detroit secondary is a sieve.
W/R: Shaun Spawn - Just in case Strike doesn't pan out.
K: Ryan Suck up - Indy defense likes to give up points.
DEF: Poo York Giants - Hoping they rise to the occasion against the Lambs in London.


RESULTS:
QB: Colin Slap-or-flick - 13.12 points
WR: Breshad Merryman - 1.1 points
RB: Strike Davis - 8.1 points
TE: C.J. Theodore-witch - 3.5 points
W/T: Jack Toil - 13.8 points
W/R: Derriere Garcon - 2.2 points
W/R: Shaun Spawn - 11.3 points
K: Ryan Suck up - 10 points
DEF: Poo York Giants - 23 points
TOTAL: 86.12 points

 Wowzers, I beat 3 teams and improve to 5-2. Poo York!

2016 NoJR Season Revue - At Least These Nats Can Win a Title

The 6th season of the Nephews of Jody Reed season was perhaps the all-time best with lots of active GMs, competitive matchups every week, and up-and-down crazy storylines that shaped the actual year in baseball. In the end, one team emerged victorious: the VATECH NATS!

Old-time Nat "Da Meat Hook" reppin' that Virginia Tech cap.

The VATECH NATS were run by a rookie GM, but he built a team like a veteran and made some key acquisitions throughout the year to surge down the stretch and win it all. What's next for the VATECH NATS? Well, what goes up must come down... or will it?

As far as the actual MLB season, there were countless stories, from new rookie sensations, injuries, suspensions, new stars, and the end of numerous careers, including Prince Fielder, Mark Teixeira, Alex Rodriguez (maybe), and David Ortiz. Will the end of the Billy Goat's Curse be next?

As always, TDZ's got your season-ending synopsis for all things 2016 NoJR.

Roster Freak Out - Week 6

Welp, I had a legit loss last week, pushing my record to 3-2 on the season. If I'm making excuses - and I will - it's that things have been way too busy at work. How am I supposed to spend my customary 2 hours per day pouring through free agents when I've got actual work to do?

It's me, except I wish I was this comfy.

QB: Marcus Karaoke - Had a monster Week 5 and should keep rolling.
WR: Philip Corset - The Law of Doge says that my dropped players will have huge weeks.
RB: Bobby Zany - Seems to have a steady role with Vereen out.
TE: Lance Hendrix - Lions among league's worst against TEs.
W/T: Robert Shoulds - Averaging 8 targets/game with Watkins out.
W/R: Breshad Berry Flan - With Smith Sr. out, it's time for this oft-injured rapscallion to do something right for once.
W/R: Torrey Pines - With Kaep back, will the 49ers have a discernible pass attack?
K: Cairo Shank Dos - He's projected for over 11 points? That's the most I can remember seeing for a kicker.
DEF: Kansas City Beefs - Andy Reid is usually pretty good coming out of a bye week.


RESULTS:

QB: Marcus Karaoke - 27.76 points
WR: Philip Corset - 1.2 points
RB: Bobby Zany - 2.9 points
TE: Lance Hendrix - 9.4 points
W/T: Robert Shoulds - 11 points
W/R: Breshad Berry Flan - 4.8 points
W/R: Torrey Pines - 13.6 points
K: Cairo Shank Dos - 6 points
DEF: Kansas City Beefs - 12 points
TOTAL: 88.66 points

2EZ

Roster Freak Out - Week 5

Hi all, I just want to wish everyone a happy Indigenous Peoples' Day weekend. While many will have a random day off to celebrate Christopher Columbus, let's not forget that he was a prick who enslaved natives and governed his colony through torture and mutilation. The King and Queen of Spain actually had him replaced and eventually imprisoned after an investigation.

This is his jerk face.

Several states have actually begun celebrating Indigenous Peoples' Day, and while it seems like WAY too little too late, it's still better than celebrating a scumbag.

Wow, I did not expect to have a cause-related post for the RFO this week. So, on an unrelated note, you have to check out my link below about Jared Cook's recent chicken wing experience. I'm literally going to inspect every chicken wing I eat from now on.

QB: Philip Shivers - Oakland looks like a decent team, but their secondary doesn't scare me.
WR: Golden Gate - Terrible start to the year, but might get more targets with Ebron out.
RB: Jalen Richard - All it takes is one good series and he might get most of the carries on the day.
TE: Richard Dodgers - Jared Cook is out due to severe and ongoing retching after his experience at a Buffalo Wild Wings.
W/T: Will Dye - Donnell is out so should see a decent number of targets.
W/R: Thrice Butler - Had a lot of targets with Dez out.
W/R: Orleans Snarkwa - Somehow my boi Rashad is still injured, creating an opportunity for Snore-leans.
K: Brandon McGonagall - He's due for a 50-yarder at Mile High.
DEF: Baltimore Cravens - There are 3 things you can count on in life: death, taxes, and the Redskins to make you laugh.


RESULTS:

QB: Philip Shivers - 25.36 points
WR: Golden Gate - 4.5 points
RB: Jalen Richard - 9.7 points
TE: Richard Dodgers - 0.6 points
W/T: Will Dye - 3.7 points
W/R: Thrice Butler - 2 points
W/R: Orleans Snarkwa - 1.1 points
K: Brandon McGonagall - 12 points
DEF: Baltimore Cravens - 7 points
TOTAL: 66.05 points - I need Kelvin Benjamin to faceplant tonight...

... noooooooooooooooo.