2015 Roster Freak Out - Week 6

Big news for light beer swilling football fans: Bud Light and Miller Lite are going to be unified under one uber-conglomerate. Per CNN, the deal was struck at $104 billion.

This is really irking me - one company, but both "Lite" and "Light": which one is right/rite?

In this age of craft brews, artisanal booze, and hipster bar schmooze, I categorize this merger as lose-lose. Big beer companies have been gradually losing share, at least in the U.S., to micro-breweries, and the way these companies create the appearance of growth to their shareholders is through acquisitions. Evidently SABMiller has strong profits in Africa, a location where AB Inbev was weak.

What does this mean for lazy NFL fans who want to drink light beer all day? Well, the less competition there is in an industry, the worse the product is going to get. It's hard to believe that light beer can get much lighter, but I've been wrong before. Rumor has it that AB Inbev is also mulling acquiring Coca-Cola. Finally, we can have Bud Light Dasani on store shelves soon.


At a record of 2-3, the RFO is looking pretty mediocre, but it would still fit right in the Monsters of the Midway division!

QB: Teddy Midget-otter - KC has given up the most fantasy points to opposing QBs.
WR: Danny Ham-and-cola - Lots of Pats to get in on the scoring against Indy.
RB: Dame Starks - San Diego's bad against the run; counting on this grand ol' gal.
TE: Eric L'ebron - All I'm asking for is one short TD pass.
W/T: Kyle Pooed-off - Doubling down on the Vikings pass game - this can't end well.
W/R: Sprain Harris - Ailments to other Giant wideouts make Harris an easy pick.
W/R: Justin Bunter - Seems to have a growing role, hoping Whisenhunt finally lets him (and DGB) swing away.
K: Slick Slovak - Straight outta Bratislava.
DEF: Faultimore Cravens - No way 49ers put up 27+ points in back-to-back weeks.


RESULTS:
QB: Teddy Midget-otter - 9.46 points
WR: Danny Ham-and-cola - 10.5 points
RB: Dame Starks - 23.7 points
TE: Eric L'ebron - 0 (inactive)
W/T: Kyle Pooed-off - 6.9 points
W/R: Sprain Harris - 1.8 points
W/R: Justin Bunter - 5.4 points
K: Slick Slovak - 8 points
DEF: Faultimore Cravens - 3 points
TOTAL: 68.76 points

Ugh, so close yet so far. I blame you L'ebron!