Where's the Funk?

Check out the latest logo and color scheme for the soon-to-be Brooklyn Nets. Evidently this creation is the making of Jay-Z.

I'm disappointed - the design itself isn't bad, but the color scheme makes this logo about as eye-catching as a pothole. It seems like Jay-Z is trying to make the team look more intimidating with the darker colors, but I guess he never got the memo that NBA players are not tough. Whatever happened to the team that stood for funk, the ABA team of Julius Erving? This is just further evidence that I need to be entrusted with ownership of a pro sports team more than anyone.

Monthly Simpsons Post

Credit to whoever made this.

Losing Pep

Following a stellar 4 year run with Barcelona, ex-player and soon to be ex-coach Josep "Pep" Guardiola will be stepping down as coach of the blaugrana.

During his tenure, he led Barcelona to an incredible run of 2 Champion's League titles, 3 Spanish League titles, 2 Club World Cups, 2 European Super Cups - forget even mentioning all of them, he helped the team amass an amazing 13 titles. He'll also get a coveted nod from TDZ as coaching the best club that this writer has ever seen.

Given his name, it's ironic that he says he doesn't have the same energy that he used to for the job as 4 years in the crucible of Camp Nou have worn him down. It didn't help that the team suffered a brutal stretch recently in which the team was eliminated from the Champion's League by Chelsea, and lost to league rival Real Madrid in Barcelona, all but clinching the league title for their rival.

Replacing him will likely be Tito Vilanova, his right-hand man for the past 5 years. I believe this will be the right move: promoting from within will provide tactical consistency and will serve the club well as they are designed to win in the present.

As for Guardiola, the 41 year old coach will not lack for job offers, including considerable sums allegedly thrown his way from such teams as Manchester United and the aforementioned Chelsea side.

Nephews of Jody Reed 2012 Budget Baseball Bonanza

In what will prove to be another scintillating year of fantasy baseball, NoJR is back for a second season. Following last year's rookie campaign, there were some important lessons learned, specifically that you've got to be careful spending those precious auction dollars - there are only a few decent values at the beginning of the draft, but many great values later on if you look carefully.

These flip-down shades need to make a comeback.

The NoJR draft is complete, and TDZ is ready to weigh in on who the likely bargains will be.

Baldr's Fate - Weekly Trivia!

It was a tough trivia question this week, as only one statement about Loki was slightly erroneous: Loki did not himself kill Baldr, but influenced Baldr's blind brother, Hodr, as prophesied, to kill him (not to be confused with Hodor). Long story short: there was only one thing that could harm Baldr - mistletoe - so the gods were having a laugh and throwing all manner of things at Baldr and watching them bounce off him. Loki saw that Hodr was not participating, and gave him a sharpened mistletoe branch, and guided him on where to throw. The rest is mythological history.

For this week, I've got to turn to the NHL, which is in the midst of an amazing start to the playoffs (minus the random suspensions doled out by Brendan Shanahan). My boi, Claude Giroux, has been an absolute terror thus far, compiling 14 points in only 6 games as he led Team Ginger the Flyers to a 4-2 elimination of the Penguins. Naturally, that got me to wondering:

Which player holds the NHL record for the most points in a single postseason?

• Wayne Gretzky
• Mike Bossy
• Jari Kurri
• Guy Lafleur
• Mario Lemieux

Have a great week!

The Milestone at Mile High

A special event happened last night, Acolytes: Jamie Moyer became the oldest pitcher in MLB history to win a game.

My longevity is exceeded only by the eeriness of my ancient visage.

He threw 7 strong innings, allowing only 2 unearned runs in a 5-3 victory over the San Diego Padres at Coors Field in Denver. He accomplished the feat at age 49 years, 150 days, eclipsing Jack Quinn from all the way back in 1932, who won a game at age 49 years and 70 days.

The next milestone for Moyer is to become the oldest pitcher of all-time. At the risk of ruining a perfectly good trivia question, the player holding that record is legend Satchel Paige, who signed with the Kansas City A's for a cameo and pitched 3 innings at age 59 years, 80 days. Less than a decade to go!

2012 AKL Team Member Hitting His Stride

The pantheon of All-Kevin Love team gods becomes even more storied and legendary this week with the ascension of Anthony Randolph to end-of-season roto glory. Ironically, a concussion to the very inspiration for the team has allowed Randolph to get the required minutes to beast. His average line over the past three games:

~31 minutes per game, 22 ppg, 59% fg%, 74% ft%, 8.67 rpg, 3 bpg

Oh, oh , gimme gimme gimme!

Get this headcase in your fantasy lineup before he inexplicably beefs with coach Adelman over how he's "misused" with all the extra minutes.

The No-Dice Dozens - Weekly Trivia!

I know, my absence from blogging has been Jamie-Moyer's-career long, but I'm back...

And ready to rock off your block
With a serious noggin knock
You'll be hearin' that tick tock
Noticin' that pebble in your sock
Cuz this question is a lock
To hit you like a trivia Glock
Givin' ya knowledge shell shock
You're gonna need Spock
To avoid a Danger mock

I know what you're thinking: am I going to start off every trivia post I make with a rap from now on? ... maybe.

Before I give you the new stumper, let me wrinkle your brain with the answer to the last trivia question: no #12 seed has ever beat a #1 seed. When I read that, I was quite surprised, so naturally I'm also not surprised that both respondents chose the wrong answer.

The 2001-2002 Missouri Tigers were the most successful #12 seed. Naturally, since their success was just 10 years ago, no photos exist of the team online today.

As for this week's question: I was recently duped by an erroneous piece of trivia, so I'm turning to the field of trickery for a replacement question. In particular, this question is about the Norse trickster god Loki:

Which of the following stories is NOT accurate about the Norse trickster god Loki?

• He seduced a Giant's stallion and ended up giving birth to a horse with eight legs.
• He lived in Asgard, but was not one of the Aesir.
• He was the father of Fenrir, the wolf, who would kill Odin at Ragnarok.
• He personally killed Odin's second son, Baldr, known as a god of truth and light.
• He was tied down with the intestines of one of his sons in a cave for the rest of eternity.

Good luck!

TDZ March Madness - Kirk Triumphs Yet Again

It was a wild rollercoaster in the inaugural TDZ March Madness tournament. Here's the final leaderboard:

Kirk: 45-18, 127 points

Lore: 35-28, 105 points

Scotty: 32-31, 102 points

Troi: 38-25, 72 points

Spock: 36-27, 66 points

Congratulations to Kirk (aka Matt-O), who was nearly the wire-to-wire winner, falling into second place only briefly until Kentucky took the title. As the grand prize winner, he's entitled to a free TDZ blog post of his choosing! Holy moly!!

Oh, did I win? This is just how I pose normally, I can't keep track of all the winning.

I earned a respectable but meaningless second place finish, while Scotty was the real story of the tournament, surging from the cellar to the top of the standings at warp speed in the late rounds, but Kansas ultimately let him down. Troi and Spock meanwhile had already traveled back to Betazed and Vulcan respectively.

Thanks to all who participated! Now back to your continuing missions.