2015 Roster Freak Out - Week 15

The regular season has gone in a flash, and four lucky GMs have emerged in the playoffs. Only something doesn't smell right here...

Let's see, we've got 2011-2012 champ Farts Are Funny, 2013 victor Nickel Blitz, and 2014 winner West/Knile Virus all in the playoffs. Wow, the rich just keep getting richer in this league!

They're just swimming in their vault of gold!

Oh, wait a second - who dat fourth team? I don't believe my own eyes, it's the one and only perennial ne'er-do-well Doge Flutie! That's me!!

Now in my 7th season in the UMassBallers league, I'm hoping to improve on my best-ever performance of $0 when I got 4th place way back in 2009. It's been a long time since then, and after half a dozen terrible drafts and literally hundreds of transactions, I have finally achieved a winning record again!

How did I do it? It's all thanks to the power of DOGE! Its sideways glance is a constant source of amusement for me and vexation for others. Its face is the Mona Lisa of whimsy. I do not know why it exists, but I do know that it turned my fortunes around. It certainly was not due to any amount of fantasy football know-how.

Take your best shot Nickel Blitz!

I think it's clear who all the other GMs should bandwagon: LET'S GO DOGE ("dogue")! LET'S GO DOGE ("dogue")!

The RFO did not qualify for the playoffs, but just for the heck of it I figured why not put together another scrub squad. Since I was sick this week, here are some health-related names.

QB: Philip Cirrhosis of the Livers - Home game against soft Miami defense.
WR: Dontrelle Infection-man - Doubling down on the Chargers passing game this time.
RB: Theo Hiccup - Hoping for a shootout against NO.
TE: Hives Walford - Seems like an up-and-coming TE.
W/T: Coby Fever - More Fleenex, plz.
W/R: Mike Coldbert - Time to get his goal-line mojo back, like that year I spent $30+ on Ryan Mathews.
W/R: Cecil Warts - Got a feeling he's going to throw a pass or two.
K: Steven Goutshka - Just in case Russell Wilson doesn't throw another 5 TDs.
DEF: Buffalo Ills - Redskins are alternating good and bad games... kinda like the Bills.


RESULTS:

QB: Philip Cirrhosis of the Livers - 20.44 points
WR: Dontrelle Infection-man - 7.8 points
RB: Theo Hiccup - 3 points
TE: Hives Walford - 1 point
W/T: Coby Fever - 1.2 points
W/R: Mike Coldbert - 1 point
W/R: Cecil Warts - 0 points
K: Steven Goutshka - 13 points
DEF: Buffalo Ills - -3 points
TOTAL: 44.44 points

What a sad end to the year for the Doge. :,(