2015 Roster Freak Out - Week 11

I'm back in my home state of New Hampshire and it feels great. The air is clean, the roads are clear, and everyone greets their fellow citizen with a hearty "Live free or die!" followed by a loud chortle of delight at not having a state income or sales tax.

R.I.P.

Indeed it is a wonderful place, and I'm going to fill you in on the Granite State with 9 neat trivia factoids that will leave non-New Hampshirites seething with jealousy.

1. Why did I land on 9 factoids? Because it's the 9th state to ratify the Constitution. However, it was actually the first state to declare independence from England 6 months before the rest of the colonies signed a mutual declaration, so Delaware should really just get over itself.
2. The first potato ever planted in the U.S. happened at Londonderry Common Field in 1719. In my home town. You're welcome, Idaho.
3. The first free public library in the United States was established in Peterborough, NH. Oh, these citizens do love being learned!
4. The first American to ever travel to space, Alan B. Shepard, was from East Derry, NH. First this, first that, so pioneering!
5. The fastest wind speed ever recorded at ground level occurred at Mt. Washington with winds three times as fast as those in most hurricanes. Step your game up, Florida!
6. The saying "Live free or die" was uttered by General John Stark, a true Cincinnatus and Revolutionary badass. Many people have heard the saying, but they don't know how it ends: "Live free or die: death is not the worst of evils."
7. America's Stonehenge, a site of 4,000 year old megalithic ruins, is located in Salem, NH, and is likely the oldest man-made construction in the United States.
8. No other state has played host to the formal conclusion of a foreign war. In 1905, Russian and Japanese leaders descended upon Portsmouth, NH, to declare an end to their war. Why? To enjoy our coastline, of course - the shortest in the nation!
9. Franklin Pierce is the only New Hampshirite to become President, and he may have been the worst. He had no spine to tackle the issue of slavery in pushing for the Kansas-Nebraska Act, which basically repealed the Missouri Compromise and made a bigger mess of things. He also passed the Fugitive Slave Act of 1850, which shamefully pandered to southern states. In what could have been a cool move, he tried to annex Cuba, but of course he failed. When it came time for re-election, his party was like "thanks, but no thanks" and he became a one-term President. He drank a lot and died of cirrhosis of the liver.

So what does all this mean? New Hampshire rocks, but don't be worthless Franklin Pierce.

New Hampshire: #1 in SO Many Ways

Today was New Hampshire's first in the nation primary, and it gives this Granite Stater an easy excuse for lauding the state's many virtues and wonders.

The Old Man in the Mountain - Greatest naturally existing anthropomorphic rock profile on Earth. R.I.P.

While I could write an epic tome in honor of my homeland, I will opt instead for a more digestible list of factoids:

1. Clean water
2. Fresh air
3. No sales tax, no income tax - You control your level of tax expenditure based on the property you choose to own
4. Cheap booze

We have a little saying in N.H., maybe you have it, too: 'Home is where the cirrhosis is.'

That's all you really need, but I'll give you a few more since I can't help myself.

5. Four seasons - best fall foliage in the country
6. First in the nation primary - registered independents dominate the elections as moderate views reign supreme
• Pat Buchanan = exception that proves the rule; I'll be damned if we aren't the most independent thinkers in the country, so smart
7. First to declare independence from England - 6 months before the Declaration of the 13 colonies, look it up
8. Live Free or Die - best state motto, and inspiration for the title of a meh Die Hard movie
9. General John Stark - Wrote the famous words above; total badass who only accepted promotion on the condition that he wasn't answerable to any other Continental Army authority; contributed indirectly to the big win at Saratoga; not to be confused with Jon Snow of House Stark in Winterfell 
10. Daniel Webster - most silver-tongued orator in U.S. history, he could talk you out of your pants, no problem; highway named after him
11. Mount Washington - One of the windiest places on Earth; cars and cog railways climb it
12. Alan B. Shepard - First dude in space; again, highway named after him
13. Loudoun Motor Speedway - Not my thing, but if you like NASCAR and/or biker culture, we've got you covered
14. Levi Hutchins - Invented first alarm clock... wait, that's awful, scratch this one
15. Mills - provided jobs that were hardly worth baring then, provides trendy office space for rando tech companies now; unlike Massachusetts, our mill towns aren't crime-ridden polyps on the colon of New England
16. Great writers - N.H. has served as a muse to some great writers, like Robert Frost, John Irving, and Danger; Dan Brown: stop calling me, you're not making this list

There you have it: 16-ish sweet reasons to not hate, but appreciate, the Granite State! I hope this post was informative.

And if I could be indulged to address my fellow New Hampshirites for just a moment: even though Mitt Romney will win tonight, I could never be mad at you.