Thursday, August 15, 2019

UMassBallers... Burning Questions for 2019

It's crazy to think that the league is entering its 12th year, and while I'd like to think we've seen it all over that time frame, every season seems to have its own set of unique circumstances and new wrinkles.


Here's what I see as the burning questions for the Ballers in 2019:

1. Above all else, just how neat will Neat Team be this year? Will we know on draft day? Or will we have to wait til midseason for peak neatness?

2. Will this fantasy league consume Tribe's attention to an extent that he only watches Red Zone and can avoid the blindness induced from watching Redskins games?

3. Will we have the first 3-time league champion this year? Chicago Ferrets, Nickel Blitz, and smackycat have all won 2 titles, meaning there's roughly a 30% chance that we see this feat accomplished.

4. In 2017, Sweaty Sac set a league record with 133 transactions. Last year, he had a disappointing 99. Will he return to triple-digits... or perhaps set an all-new record in 2019?

5. Will Cash4Gould get the cash he demands every year?
  • Answered: Robbie Gould got a 4-year, $19 million contract - just not with the Bears. Also, he's not actually Cash4Gould. (Or is he?)
6. How can smackycat be smacky if he's stuffed into that cardboard tube like a purrito?

7. Will mangenius deploy an auto-draft strategy again after ending up with an absolutely loaded lineup in 2018 that included Melvin Gordon, Christian McCaffrey, Tyreek Hill, Mike Evans, and 3 QB1's (Russell Wilson, Big Ben, and Cam Newton)?

8. Are ferrets just land otters? (Important otter footage)

9. Will anyone be able to out-bid Nickel Blitz when it comes to Tom Brady?
  • Plot twist: Nickel Blitz has drafted Tom Brady each of the past 3 years. The last time he didn't draft Tom Brady was the last time he won a championship.
10. What are the odds that Adam's Expert Team gets asked by my young nephew what a Sweaty Sac is?

11. Will Doge Flutie repeat?

12. Is there a word for a rhetorical question where the answer is not "yes," but rather a very obvious "no"?

2 comments:

  1. 13. Will the new commissioner rule with compassion or an iron fist? Was the old commissioner just a figurehead, puppeteered by the current commissioner for years while biding his time and waiting for the right moment to unleash his fury? Is the Illuminati real?

    ReplyDelete