Mighty Mouse Rocks the House - Weekly Trivia!

I had to do a double-take when I looked at the list of NBA Dunk Contest winners, but 5'9" Nate Robinson has actually won the most in NBA history (3). I had to go back and check out Youtube to remember any of the ones he did though. 2006 looks like his best work (below), while the other championships were pretty mediocre. Vince Carter definitely had the most memorable win for me.

Baseball is coming up fast with spring training in full swing! Last year was one for the history books, including Miguel Cabrera becoming MLB's first Triple Crown winner since 1967.

Which one of these players also won a Triple Crown?

• Hank Aaron
• Joe DiMaggio
• Hank Greenberg
• Mel Ott
• Frank Robinson

TDZ's All-Kevin Love Team 2K13

It's that time of year again, when TDZ takes you on a journey into parallel universes, where much-deserving bench players get added minutes and make the jump to top fantasy contributors.

If Star Trek taught us anything, our alter egos in parallel dimensions have facial hair. You think it's a coincidence Ryan Anderson grew his the year he broke out? Mind blown - you're welcome.

There's a nebula off the starboard bow, and sensors are detecting temporal distortions. Let's approach at half impulse and get a closer look at the future fantasy basketball studs-to-be.

New Orleans Pelicans Logo Battle Royale

In an ironically unironic move, New Orleans's NBA team has settled on a new name for the future: the New Orleans Pelicans. Possessing all the intimidation of a bunny and none of the mythology of a stork, this new mascot will quickly become a fan non-favorite for years to come.

The fun doesn't stop there, though. With the new name comes a new logo! And there was a contest held by a Canadian design website to create the crest for this new team name which has torn up the internet world among only the smallest niche of logo-philes. Click below to see some of the efforts, as well as the winner.

Birth Cert Don't Lie - Weekly Trivia!

I gave a list of older Celtics (and Rondo) to choose from this week - but actually, the correct answer is the only one on the list that is not a current Celtic: Rasheed Wallace.

Sheed was actually out of the league the past couple years, but the Knicks were dead set on becoming the oldest pro basketball team in the universe. He's 38 years old - second on that list was KG at 36. If you're the winner, let yourself be known to claim your bragging rights.

It seems like all I ever hear about these days is talk about Abraham Lincoln. Whether it's Doris Kearns Goodwin's new book, Team of Rivals, or DDL's Oscar-baiting performance in the newly released Lincoln, the American public is going to up their Honest Abe IQ this month. How about a pre-test though?

Which of the following is NOT true about Abraham Lincoln?

• He's the tallest U.S. president of all-time
• Suffered from depression
• Was considered weak and sickly
• Was the first U.S. president to have a beard
• His home state was Illinois
• Had a different Vice President for each of his terms
• Was watching the play "Our American Cousin" when assassinated

Have a good weekend, acolytes.

Tickle Me Brain-o - Weekly Trivia!

We got a couple correct responses to the trivia question this week: Elmo was NOT one of the original Sesame Street cast members. Congrats to my Dad and whoever else answered correctly (probably Ryan).

The whole lovable giggler shtick is getting old, Elmo. Get edgy!

What else has been in the news lately. Hmm... I heard something to do with the weather, or candy or something - oh, now I remember, my fantasy draft was last night. Like last year, you could set a laugh track to each and every selection, but with my relentless pursuit of perfection/swindles, I'm not counting myself out yet.

One area of sneaky value: post-hype veterans...

Which of these active NBA players is the oldest of the group?

• Paul Pierce
• Rasheed Wallace
• Kevin Garnett
• Rajon Rondo
• Jason Terry

Good luck, and Happy Halloween.

Crybaby Wade

This literally happened in a professional game of basketball.

Where's the Funk?

Check out the latest logo and color scheme for the soon-to-be Brooklyn Nets. Evidently this creation is the making of Jay-Z.

I'm disappointed - the design itself isn't bad, but the color scheme makes this logo about as eye-catching as a pothole. It seems like Jay-Z is trying to make the team look more intimidating with the darker colors, but I guess he never got the memo that NBA players are not tough. Whatever happened to the team that stood for funk, the ABA team of Julius Erving? This is just further evidence that I need to be entrusted with ownership of a pro sports team more than anyone.

2012 AKL Team Member Hitting His Stride

The pantheon of All-Kevin Love team gods becomes even more storied and legendary this week with the ascension of Anthony Randolph to end-of-season roto glory. Ironically, a concussion to the very inspiration for the team has allowed Randolph to get the required minutes to beast. His average line over the past three games:

~31 minutes per game, 22 ppg, 59% fg%, 74% ft%, 8.67 rpg, 3 bpg

Oh, oh , gimme gimme gimme!

Get this headcase in your fantasy lineup before he inexplicably beefs with coach Adelman over how he's "misused" with all the extra minutes.

All-Kevin Love Team Honoree Makes Headlines

You may question my methods or madness initially, but you have to admit: I know how to pick 'em. Just as last year's winners have made major waves this year, a 2012 A-KL team member is already making news. T.J. Ford is moving his career to a whole other level: retirement.

He was certainly a promising young point guard when he first started in the league, and though I knew he endured some injury issues, I mistakenly believed they were behind him. Assuming the time away from the game allows his spine to stabilize, he'll get to enjoy a healthy retirement. I'm sure he'd rather continue playing, but being able to retire at his age (almost a year younger than me) is nothing to pity.

Logos Gone Loco

Team logos are a part of sports that I've always enjoyed. As a kid, I liked their aesthetic appeal and how they gave a sense of the personality of the team, whether it's the goofy piousness of the San Diego friar, or the creepy Long Island(er) sailor that knew what you did last summer. Now as an adult, my interest in logo design includes a marketing dimension: what kind of brand is a team trying to convey with their logo? With the Toronto Raptors logo, I can only assume that they're endorsing the poor paleontology running rampant in Canadian academia.

Jurassic Park came out almost 20 years ago.

Now, my interest in logos borders on the geeky - today I encountered a cool collection of fan designed logos in which all of the sports logos for a city are mashed together. That really got me thinking: are teams on the same page in terms of how they relate to a city (color scheme, persona, design) or is the city's personality so non-existent that its teams don't match up at all? Click below to see the results.

A Very TDZ Christmas Tale

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except for an optical mouse.
Danger benchmarked a 12-team NBA league with care,
In hopes that roto glory soon would be declared.

'The draft time approaches,' he excitedly said,
While visions of auction bargains danced in his head.
The clock struck 10, he awaited the first nominee
As he settled down for a 2-hour shopping spree.

Boycott the NBA

The Chris Paul trade shakedown has been making headlines for over a week, and fans across the country should be wondering why they bother caring about the league anymore.

I've made fun of the NBA repeatedly in this blog (all I'm saying is give robots a chance), but I always took at least a passing interest in the quality of play and the performance of the Celtics. This past debacle may have just ruined the Association for me, and here's why.

Here we go lockout, here we go. *clap clap*

Many fans are worried about an impending NBA lockout that will cancel the upcoming season. If you are one of these people, I urge you to take a page from The Life of Brian and look at the bright side: if the season is canceled, the Celtics could get Dwight Howard!

A. Sherrod Blakely of CSNNE brought up this possibility recently. Howard would only be available if the lockout eliminated the upcoming season, otherwise Orlando would trade him, and the C's don't have the trade chips with their older roster.

Garnett has said he's likely to retire after 2011-2012, creating a defensive vacuum that would need to be filled under the basket. Dwight is the best defensive player in the league when it comes to points in the paint, and if you don't believe me, look at the numbers. The stats here are for team defense in the paint, but let me tell you a secret everyone knows: Rashard Lewis wasn't helping out much.

With Rondo snaking steals on the perimeter and Dwight in the paint, the post-Big 3 future I see is starting to look a bit less dystopian than the one we are surely careening toward.

Ian Mahinmi does it again!

World Champion, NBA man-beast, and TDZ regular Ian Mahinmi is making waves once again, this time in his native language of French. Here's what he had to say about the sport's top two stars:

"Kobe is super arrogant but everybody loves him. To me, Kobe is more arrogant (than LeBron James)."

First, Ian was doing all the right things on the court. Now he's saying all the right things off it. Anyone who's seen Kobe play or give a post-game interview knows how highly he thinks of himself. He thinks he can get away with anything (Iguodala bag tag), constantly treats his teammates like crap (example 1, 2), and is only too willing to throw them under the bus to sate his superiority complex. For LeBron, it's just another title he's unable to claim.

Ian Mahinmi has spoken the truth. There's no telling how high this guy can go!

NBA Draft 2011: "Because we have to do it every year" Edition

Few drafts have provided as little fanfare as this year's. Typically at least one or two big names grab your attention while some talent lingering in the later rounds provides some intrigue, but I'm hard-pressed to find any superstars coming out of this lol-worthy draft. Nevertheless, let's chew the cud on the night's studs and duds.

Ian Mahinmi: NBA CHAMPION!

There were a lot of story lines going on in the NBA Finals. Dirk Nowitzki hit Larry Bird-style shots all playoffs long and finally cast off the choker label. Jason Kidd got a championship ring after 17 years in the league. And the 4th quarter travails of LeBron James will be analyzed for another year as he came up short, playing 2nd and sometimes even 3rd fiddle in the Heat's Big 3.

But who wants to hear about those stories when the lamestream sports media will be covering them ad nauseam. That's not why you come to The Danger Zone! You want to hear about the story within the story, behind another story, lurking sketchy-like in the shadows, its grotesqueness cowering from the light!

Every foul increased their chances of victory.

In that spirit, I continue my coverage of Mavericks center Ian Mahinmi and his mercurial rise to the top of the NBA.

Ian Mahinmi Update!

TDZ regular Ian Mahinmi was recently unleashed by Mavs coach Rick Carlisle, receiving some substantial playing time. With only 8 minutes played he accomplished a stat line of 0-1 FG, 2-2 FT, 1 big offensive rebound, and 5 beastly fouls.

Not reflected in the stats is one knee to the groin of Udonis Haslem. Just goes to show you that with the best players in the game, it's not all about the numbers. Best of luck to Mahinmi and the Mavs against those durn Heat.


No one got the past month's trivia question correct! The shortest of the 4 guards is Chris Paul.

The NBA Playoffs - aka "Why we need robots now more than ever."

The NBA playoffs are underway, and everyone's real excited. After a great regular season, shocking trade deadline, and stellar individual performances, it's time to play the real games. The games that count. Not those T-Wolves vs. Clippers blooper reels (though they were much more fun with Love and Griffin this year) - I'm talking about quality, smash-mouth, defensive, team basketball. The way James Naismith intended.

And yet, part of me is reluctant to watch any of it. The game has become as annoying to watch now as it must have been to play back in Naismith's day when no one had the foresight to cut a hole in the freaking fruit basket. I've rarely watched a game where I wasn't vexed by the refereeing. And it's not just the refs being awful, corrupt, Tim Donaghy, yada yada yada... it's also annoying to have the game stopped over and over and over, especially down the stretch.

Well, originally the charter for this blog mentioned something about innovative ideas, and while most of it has been snarky commentary about athletes interspersed with odd pop culture references, I'd like to think TDZ can still amount to something more than a sleazy sports rag.

So, without further ado, some ideas to make basketball less annoying to watch than soccer again.

Back in the Game

Like Tiki Barber, The Danger Zone is active once again amidst comments such as "that's pretty random" and "ummm, who cares?" All those who enjoy finding amusement in the mundane and exulting in the trivial, that's who!

However, something happened this week that was decidedly NOT trivial. Yes, a record fell this week that was destined to tumble ever since my article hit the interwebs: Kevin Love has broken the record for consecutive double-doubles. Well, since the NBA-ABA merger. It's still pretty awesome.

A little thing we in the business like to call "boxing out."

He's reached 52 straight as of tonight and has built an even more impressive case for league MVP. With serious questions swirling around the team chemistry of the Heat, Dwight Howard being an inferior rebounder to Love, and Kobe being a ginormously arrogant tool, I can confidently say that Love will earn more votes than people imagine.

In other news on "Stream of Consciousness Thursday," elite slugger, and my personal favorite space cadet, Manny Ramirez is making a favorable impression with his new team, the Tampa Bay Rays. After a litany of top draft picks during countless years of abject futility, the Rays have finally had some recent success. Despite their success, games played in Tampa are kind of like trees falling in the forest: no one cares.

Due to the financial consequences of this, the Rays have been forced to make some thrifty signings instead of simply relying on their prospects, and they've signed the likes of former Sox stars Manny Ramirez and Johnny Damon. Manny signed for a mere $2 million this offseason, which is 10x less per season than his previous contract. It's kind of like Charlie Sheen going from his 2.5 Men deal to living off royalties for Money Talks. (What on earth ever happened to Chris Tucker anyways?)

Older, but certainly no wiser, I still believe a hitter of Manny's talent will cause headaches for AL East teams once again this year. I also believe that the "highlights" will be plentiful as he roams the grass out in left field for another year. Incidentally, he's the only player in sports history whose position is also his state of mind, and that deserves a tribute video. Unfortunately MLB has their content locked down like Fort Knox so I submit this photo of my favorite Manny play.

Upcoming (better) articles to watch for in... The Danger Zone:

2011 Fantasy Baseball Mock Draft: first, I identify the putrid duds to avoid in the early rounds; gangrenous cesspools that are destined to fester in the flesh wound that is your roster if you have the misfortune of picking them. Then, I whisper secretively about the players you can catch baggin' Z's in the later rounds. (The section on putrid duds is proudly sponsored by Comcast.)

-and-

March Madness 2K11: having never watched a college basketball game this season, Danger presents his expert picks for the Big Dance. If you think your bracket is better because you've actually followed college hoops: wrong! And I'll explain why, next week....

*** Congrats to all voters for the latest trivia question: "Jamaica, we have a bobsled team." ***

Ian Mahinmi Update

NBA man-beast Ian Mahinmi was in action this past Wednesday, looking to make the most of some precious minutes off the bench.  Consider that mission accomplished.  His stat line:

7:23 minutes, 0-0 FG, 0-0 FT, 0 assists, 1 rebound, 6 fouls

Sources report that following the game, Ian sent 17 unlucky fans to the hospital while giving out autographs, which certainly didn't win over any coaches or teammates in the locker room following his performance.  He was a healthy scratch against the Suns the following night.