Rando TDZ Soccer Update - Goo Goo Ga Ga Edition

Not to be remiss in my coverage of the beautiful game, there were a few interesting news stories in the soccer world recently...

NFL Free Agent Bonanza!

Over the next few weeks, NFL franchises have the exciting opportunity to drastically change the compositions of their teams. For continuous updates on all the signings - and their fantasy implications - check in regularly on TDZ's free agent bonanza coverage!

It's back and less smash-mouth than ever!

Presidential Trivia

After weeks of plummeting confidence in our political leaders, it's only fitting that this past week's trivia deal with a certain lack of popularity. Much to my dismay, no one got the correct answer this week, which was...

John Quincy Adams! Since the Federalist party withered away, the Democratic-Republican party was all that remained, and 4 candidates sought the presidency in the year Adams ran (1824). Adams received a mere 30.9% of the vote while Andrew Jackson led with 41.3%.

Austere much?

Since no candidate achieved a majority of the electoral vote, the House of Representatives was called upon to decide the winner. Following the 12th Amendment, the House was only permitted to vote on the top three candidates, Jackson, Adams, and William Harris Crawford, leaving "The Great Compromiser," Henry Clay, out of the running. Detesting Jackson, Clay - who happened to be Speaker of the House - threw his support and those of his cohorts behind Adams. Jacksonians were red with anger over the "corrupt bargain," but he'd have his time in the White House eventually.

Other choices were known for close wins in the popular vote, but, with the exception of Lincoln (the top choice for 2 people - he won with 39.8% in 1860), they did not have the third or fourth candidates necessary to truly divide the vote like the 1824 election. Yep, that's a total Ralph Nader burn right there.

Why you gotta do me like that, Danger.

This week's trivia question might be a tough one: you've got to know the 4 major sports to get it, and even then it's a tough call. Here it is:

Which of the following retired star athletes is the oldest?

• Bobby Orr (hockey)
• Julius Erving (basketball)
• Eric Dickerson (football)
• Reggie Jackson (baseball)

Good luck!

Nephews of Jody Reed rank baseball's top 5's

Having already demonstrated considerable expertise in building their fantasy teams, a few GMs in the Nephews of Jody Reed league have contributed their opinions on the greatest players in baseball.

I'm talking 45 doubles in 1990, dawg!

These players fall into three categories: active, historical, and personal top 5's. Click below to check 'em out!

Haxball

Everyone loves a good online game (i.e. time waster), right? Well here's the latest one I've come across: an online soccer game called Haxball.

I fully acknowledge that by giving you this link I'll probably never see you again, let alone enjoy your readership, but to withhold it would be the greater disservice.

Enjoy! And let me know if you want to team up sometime.

The many sides of Cartman

It looks like this past week's trivia question was more difficult than expected, as only two people were intrepid enough to make a selection. One person got the right answer, so leave a comment to make yourself known and bask in the glory that only comes with TDZ trivia conquest.

The options you had to choose from were:

• The Coon: Cartman's vigilante crime-fighting persona and head of the superhero group Coon and Friends. He at one point teamed up with Cthulhu and went on a killing spree.
• Jennifer Lopez: Cartman's ventriloquist act who steals the real Jennifer Lopez's recording label and Ben Affleck.
• Clyde Frog: This week's correct answer! Clyde Frog is Cartman's favorite stuffed animal.
• Awesome-o: Technically the Awesome-o 4000, Cartman pretended to be a robot so that he could spy on Butters and learn his embarrassing secrets. When he learns that Butters knows something embarrassing about him, he commits to the part at great lengths to get back the evidence and prevent humiliation.
• Mitch Conner: Another ventriloquist act, Mitch is a con-artist who was actually pretending to be Jennifer Lopez all along, playing everyone for fools.
• Bulrog: Cartman's scythe-wielding anime alter ego; a tough name to catch as it occurs briefly in only one episode.

Edit: Recommended sports-related viewing for South Park is their commentary on the NCAA in the Emmy-nominated episode Crack Baby Athletic Association.

This week's question is going political given the craziness going on in Washington right now: 

Which U.S. President won their election (or re-election) with the smallest percentage of the popular vote? 

Choices are below. Good luck.

Pirates' Cove: Jolly Roger Revival

Aye, it was a fine crew. Captain Clint remembers the day he conducted roll call fondly. They wouldn't be the first choice for many captains, but where others saw 25 cutthroats and knavish rogues, ol' Clinty saw 25 able seamen. 'You can sail to hell and back with these men, and you can lay to that,' said the Cap'n.

The vessel was another story. It was a treacherous, barnacle-encrusted wench that could hardly be considered sea-worthy, patched together with driftwood and desperation. Its state of disrepair belied the glory she once knew. Once a pearl of the high seas under the terrifying commands of such legends as Clemente and Stargell, generation after generation pillaged and plundered to its heart's content.

That was until 18 years ago. The gentlemen of fortune, led by old salt Van Slyke and his first mate Bonds, dropped anchor and disembarked in search of treasure when they were ambushed by Braves. Shiver me timbers! what a fierce battle was waged that day, cutlasses clashing with tomahawks, scalps flying. Just when ol' Van's buckos looked to have the upper hand, a young Brave named Cabrera dealt a death blow to crewman Belinda that irrevocably shifted the tide of battle.

Chased back to their ship, the buccaneers found their vessel (tomahawk) chopped and set ablaze. By the time the crew recovered what was left of the ship and weighed anchor, the damage had been done, seaman Drabek and the first mate Bonds were gone, and the treasure was lost.

What followed from that fateful day is considered by some to be Cabrera's Curse. The crew stumbled from port to port, three sheets to the wind, and hornswaggled at every stop. The booty of past triumphs had been all but spent. The only respite these once proud gentlemen of fortune could hope for was the merciful descent to Davy Jones' Locker.  Ol' Clinty had his work cut out for him to make these scallywags the terrors they once were. But terrors they would be.

Now four months into their voyage, the seamen have already proved their worth. But the crew still has 3 months to go before it can end Cabrera's curse and claim the very bounty they never dreamed would be within their grasp again: the 30 flags of gold.