Messi vs. Boateng

My favorite video from the play...

World Cup Pick 'em

Hello loyal readers,

TDZ would like you to participate in a World Cup pick 'em game for internet bragging rights. The tournament kicks off on Thursday, so submit your picks sooner rather than later!

Join here

Enjoy the games!

Hilarious World Cup Commercial

Ian Darke needs to commentate every aspect of our lives, and in uncomfortable proximity.

Mamma Mia, It's Villa - Weekly Trivia!

We have another winner this week! David Villa is the all-time highest scoring player for Spain's national team. I thought this was a tricky one - Raul was "the guy" for Spain for so many years growing up that I assumed he had accrued the most, but Villa has scored at a solid 0.62 goal/game clip for la Roja.

He's got the best soul patch in soccer. Not that that's a good thing.

Congrats to this week's winner, whoever you are. Withhold your modesty and tout your winning ways in the comments.

This week, folks, you know it's got to be about the MLB All-Star break. We've got some major story-lines going into this year's game: guys getting injured and dropping out, other guys pretending to be injured and dropping out, and of course home field advantage will be decided by this exhibition no matter who's there. It will be a magical time.

My question is the following:

Which of the following players did NOT make the MLB All-Star Game as a teenager?

• Bryce Harper
• Dwight Gooden
• Bob Feller
• Jimmie Foxx

Good luck, and have a splendtasterrific week.

The Baltimore No's - Weekly Trivia!

There was only one reader intrepid enough to hazard a guess for this week's question, but it was a correct one: the Baltimore Orioles are the team that has gone the longest without pitching a no-no. If you don't believe me, just ask Sporcle.

Worst of all, Jamie Moyer will not be attempting to end that streak for the O's. He was 1-1 with a 1.69 ERA for AAA Norfolk in 3 starts, but he never got the call up, so he used his considerable star power to kindly request a release in the hopes that he would play in the bigs for another team. The power play totally worked as another AL Beast team signed him, the Toronto Blue Jays. Nobody puts Jamie in the corner!

There goes the best player in Norfolk Tides history.

For this week's trivia question, we're turning back to soccer. Spain will meet Italy in the Euro 2012 championship (go Roja) as the Azzurri knocked out Germany in a real stunner. Not exactly the tournament I predicted, but it's been awesome stuff.

Thinking about national soccer teams, my question is the following:

Which of the following players is the all-time leader in national team goals for Spain?

• Fernando Torres
• Lionel Messi
• Raul (Gonzalez)
• David Villa
• Fernando Morientes

Euro a Go-Go

It's here, Euro 2012. The six months are up. Did you work yourself into a frenzy? You slacker. Well, there's plenty to be excited about as this tournament kicks off on Friday. The big question is, who's going to win it all?

Human mascots - so unimaginative. I'd have gone with 'Splotchy the Birth Mark' in honor of Mikhail Gorbachev.

Unlike the Gold Cup, there's less of a talent gap between these teams, so selecting the winners and losers is a taller task. Nevertheless, TDZ always has the cajones to make the bold predictions his readers need to hear - then can't believe they just heard. Click below to see the galling selections.

Losing Pep

Following a stellar 4 year run with Barcelona, ex-player and soon to be ex-coach Josep "Pep" Guardiola will be stepping down as coach of the blaugrana.

During his tenure, he led Barcelona to an incredible run of 2 Champion's League titles, 3 Spanish League titles, 2 Club World Cups, 2 European Super Cups - forget even mentioning all of them, he helped the team amass an amazing 13 titles. He'll also get a coveted nod from TDZ as coaching the best club that this writer has ever seen.

Given his name, it's ironic that he says he doesn't have the same energy that he used to for the job as 4 years in the crucible of Camp Nou have worn him down. It didn't help that the team suffered a brutal stretch recently in which the team was eliminated from the Champion's League by Chelsea, and lost to league rival Real Madrid in Barcelona, all but clinching the league title for their rival.

Replacing him will likely be Tito Vilanova, his right-hand man for the past 5 years. I believe this will be the right move: promoting from within will provide tactical consistency and will serve the club well as they are designed to win in the present.

As for Guardiola, the 41 year old coach will not lack for job offers, including considerable sums allegedly thrown his way from such teams as Manchester United and the aforementioned Chelsea side.

All-Time Soccer Fantasy Draft

I randomly came across this fun article about drafting a fantasy soccer team, with the player pool being all players in history.

A guy with his initials on Louis Vuitton luggage? A power move only a true soccer don like Zizou can pull off.

Soccer doesn't match up that well with the fantasy game given the paucity of statistics, so these selections were made with team building and chemistry in mind, and assumed that all players would be in their prime. Take a look at the list of first rounders after the jump.

TDZ Video Game Review: FIFA 12

TDZ recently took the pitch in EA Sport's latest soccer offering, FIFA 12. This is my first FIFA game since 09, which provided hours of entertainment for both Career and Be A Pro modes. Will 12 do the same?

Click on to kick it with Messi, Rooney and the gang.

Euro 2012 - Finally Something Everyone in Europe Can Get Behind

Euro 2012 match play begins on June 8th of next year, so you have only 6 months to work yourself into a frenzy for the tournament! Even though Messi, Eto'o, and all those amazing Brazilian players won't play in this one, it's the closest thing to a World Cup without it being the actual World Cup, and that's good enough for me.

This is the first major soccer tournament awarded to a former Iron Curtain country since 1976 (Yugoslavia).

This year's games will be co-hosted by Poland and Ukraine, and - aside from potato futures - many are speculating about which teams will escape the group phase intact. Well, the group drawing happened yesterday, and here's how it played out.

MLS Cup 2011 - Beckham's Finale

While most of America is deeply focused on their fantasy football teams this fall, the Major League Soccer season is drawing to a close with the Cup Final this Sunday in Los Angeles (9 pm Eastern). I've been guilty of neglecting MLS for most of the year for a variety of reasons, but the MLS Cup this year signifies a few milestone events that are worth throwing up on this blog.

Rando TDZ Soccer Update - Goo Goo Ga Ga Edition

Not to be remiss in my coverage of the beautiful game, there were a few interesting news stories in the soccer world recently...

Haxball

Everyone loves a good online game (i.e. time waster), right? Well here's the latest one I've come across: an online soccer game called Haxball.

I fully acknowledge that by giving you this link I'll probably never see you again, let alone enjoy your readership, but to withhold it would be the greater disservice.

Enjoy! And let me know if you want to team up sometime.

Copa America Final 2011: 'guay?

The final match of the 2011 Copa America tourney is this Sunday, and this latest edition has been odd to say the least. Brazil and Argentina are nowhere to be found, replicating their disappointing World Cup campaigns from the year before. One finalist, Paraguay, hasn't even won a match yet. Not one. They required penalty kicks to advance in the elimination rounds. Venezuela's in the third place match for crying out loud, a level Hugo "Boss'" team never dreamed of reaching.

Duh, TYING!

The way this tournament is going, it seems that the Copa America has easily dethroned the Gold Cup for the most cataclysmic soccer tournament on the planet. But will the final live up to the precedings? Click to find out more.

Morbid Trivia Answer - Plus Women's World Cup Thoughts

This weeks question was one of the more difficult ones, but one person did get the correct answer: of the animals listed, horses cause the most deaths per year in the U.S. (link). They account for an estimated 106 deaths per year on the low end, up there with deer as the leading killers.  Following them are stinging insects, cattle, dogs, snakes, birds (?), alligators, mountain lions and sharks. Congrats to the winner, whoever you are! Feel free to comment to gain the recognition you deserve.

On a somber note, the U.S. Women's National Team lost the Women's World Cup final today. It was a crushing defeat, with a comedy of errors on defense and a horrific lack of poise at times. Once the match went to penalties, I knew Japan would win since they were more composed throughout the game.

On the bright side, Abby Wambach and new crush Alex Morgan played very well, and I hope they and Debra Morgan Hope Solo return with a vengeance four years from now. Let's not forget that we've got a Women's Professional Soccer league here in the U.S. that can use our support between World Cups (go Breakers). A big tip of the hat to Japan for playing with a lot of skill and poise in winning it all. This is a great story for a country that's had a lot to deal with this past year.

New trivia question tomorrow!

Gold Cup Final: Fiesta Numero Dos

Mexico has laid claim to their second consecutive Gold Cup and finally earned redemption against the U.S. by winning on American soil, beating the U.S. 4-2. For the U.S., the game ran like a poor rollercoaster ride: a nice incline at the start, but then one gradual, disappointing decline for the rest of the game.

2011 Gold Cup - Grudge Match Edition

Who would have guessed: the Gold Cup playoffs have culminated in yet another U.S.-Mexico finale. For those counting at home, that's three straight finals between the two countries. Sure, the tournament has been predictable, but oh so entertaining. Here's how the teams got there...

The Greatest Sports Analyst That Ever Lived

Loyal TDZ acolytes probably think I'm referring to the staggering genius of this blog, but no. There once lived a sports fan whose intelligence dwarfed my own, rendering my lilliputian attempts at insightful blogging moot. A fan whose analysis was so trenchant and accurate that you'd swear he must have the gift of foresight. A fan of such mental dexterity that you would drown trying to match wits in his environment...

I'm talking of course about Paul the Octopus, the late cephalopod that accurately predicted every single match he cared to wager on in the 2010 World Cup. During his time, mankind thought he was one-of-a-kind, a phenom whose blaze of glory would never be equalled again. But we were wrong.

German marine scientists are conducting skills-training exercises and competitions to uncover the next Paul for the Women's World Cup this year. It's only a matter of time before the top sports-lovin' octopi are bred for the job, and we can only hope useless ESPN analysts like Merrill Hoge, Herm Edwards, Skip Bayless, Colin Cowherd, Jim Rome, Steve Phillips, Screamin' Steven A. Smith, Jeff Van Gundy, Bill Plaschke, Stuart Scott, Jon Gruden, Joe Morgan, Mike Golic, Mike Greenberg, Tim Hasselbeck, Erik Kuselius, Lou Holtz, Rick Reilly, Mike Tirico, Jon Barry and Chris Broussard are all replaced.

(Did I forget anyone?)

USA: "Everything is irie, mon."

"Stir It Up" - New lineup gets the job done as U.S. beats Jamaica 2-0

After much roster rancor and blog spazzing from yours truly, the U.S.-Jamaica quarterfinal match went off without a hitch and Uncle Sam came out as 2-0 winners over the Reggae Boyz.

Many U.S. fans hit the soccer bars extra early on Sunday upon news that long-time star Landon Donovan would be held out of the starting lineup by Coach Bob Bradley. Returning to D.C. from his sister's wedding in California, Donovan didn't return until 7:30 am. In comparison, fellow talented teammate and chronic over-actor Clint Dempsey also returned home from his sister's wedding in Texas and got back at 2 am. Methinks Landon was hitting up the after-party with some of the bridesmaids.

All of this drama before kickoff amounted to very little as the U.S. team functioned just fine minus Donovan. In fact, young star striker Jozy Altidore left the match in just the 12th minute, eliminating another starter from the lineup. Fortunately, Clint Dempsey finally scored a goal after numerous opportunities in the group stage (particularly against Guadeloupe).

His was the insurance to Jermaine Jones' game-winner, his first international goal, and an apt one given the U.S.'s Febreze fresh new roster.

Unfortunately the Gold Cup was not Jamaica's "Redemption Song," but they played well enough to convince me that they have a shot to make the next World Cup. Always a cult favorite, it would be great to see them in Brazil in 2014.

The second match was even more raucous than the first. By a lot.


Panama stuns El Salvador in the final minute and wins by penalty kicks

Numerous Salvadorans were in attendance at RFK Stadium for this one, and it showed when the tiny country broke through with the first goal, a penalty kick in the 78th minute.

With little time remaining, Panama crashed the net and finally got an opportune ball in the air right by the goal line. Luis Tejada got some part of his body on the ball in the scramble and it was ruled a goal, however later replays showed that the entire ball might not have crossed the goal line. The Salvadoran fans reacted naturally: jeers that would make a sailor blush, bottles thrown onto the field, a red card for both sides, and the requisite running man doing a circuit around the pitch. Surely a prelude to the doomsday I alluded to in the beginning!

It was a very good game with tons of scoring chances for both teams, and I'm not sad that El Salvador lost, for a couple reasons. First, they got a questionable penalty kick earlier in the game, and they could have won if they had converted right there. Second, this sets up an intriguing rematch between the U.S. and Panama!

Semifinal action detonates this Wednesday in Houston. Look for Mexico and Honduras to have an intense battle. I could see this one going either way, but deep down I've got to believe Mexico will advance to the final since they've got more punch. Meanwhile, I'm actually bullish on America. I liked that Bradley wasn't afraid to try out some different players, and you know they've got to be hungry to avenge their earlier loss. The only way to sate that hunger is goals, and I do hope they are gluttonous!

Copa Oro: Muerte Subita!

TDZ's continuing coverage of Gold Cup action continues this weekend as nations square off in playoff elimination games. Despite a couple hiccups for some teams, such as the U.S. losing to Panama and Honduras losing to Jamaica, the group stages were about as predictable as a Sarah Palin soundbite is at reducing your IQ.

Summarizing today's action:


Honduras edges Costa Rica via penalty kicks.

Each squad put one away in the second half for a full time score of 1-1, but Honduras did a better job of converting their penalties as two of Costa Rica's players hit the crossbar with their shots. Not to discount the work of Honduras' goalkeeper, Noel Valladares: he made a crucial save on a penalty shot with 15 minutes left in the game just to send it to PKs. His strategy involved arguing over the placement of the ball until he had spent so much time - and so much of the ref's patience - that he was given a yellow card.

Did the tactic contribute to the subsequent save? Couldn't hurt. We might have just discovered a freezing the kicker tactic in the "other" football. I expected this to be a close game as both are in that second tier of CONCACAF behind the U.S. and Mexico, but one side is a World Cup-quality side while the other isn't, and it showed at the end. Honduras now moves on to face the following winner...


Mexico upends Guatemala with two second half goals.

Losing 1-0 at the half, heavy favorite Mexico was in danger of a quarterfinal elimination at the hands of 3rd tier Guatemala. However, like most heavy favorites, El Tri made a run and executed with 2 second half goals, including the game-winner from the chihuahua, Javier Hernandez.

Guatemala captain and long-time MLS striker Carlos Ruiz quieted the Mexico-supporting crowd early on with a goal in the fifth minute, but Mexico applied pressure later on to make up for the early lapse. Given how close this game was, Mexico may be a lot weaker following the suspension of 5 of their players than I initially thought. If the U.S. doesn't choke as hard as I think they will, they've got a definite shot at the Cup after all.


Gold Cup action continues tomorrow with the U.S. facing off against The Reggae Boyz of Jamaica, and Panama taking on El Salvador. I expect Panama will dispatch El Salvador as they have performed well so far, while I'm less optimistic about the U.S. facing Jamaica. If you go by the tier system I've alluded to, the U.S. should win, but Jamaica is a fast and physical team and they have yet to even allow a goal this tournament. For a team that's struggling to score goals like the U.S., this could be a case of a very stoppable force colliding with an immovable object. Tune in at 3 pm for all the action! (Fox Soccer Channel and live streaming.)