2018 Roster Freak Out - Week 4

I'm traveling for a wedding so unfortunately a lot less time and effort for this post. Take what you can get, lol.

Some stylish and colorful selections for this week:

QB: Cyan Flannelhill - Pats love giving up 300 yards and multiple TD's to middling QBs.
QB: Case Greenum - KC's defense has been bailed out by its offense every week. It's bad.
WR: Taywan Tailor - Richartreuse Matthews and his 50% of snaps are gone.
WR: Rachartreuse Higgins - Because BAKER.
RB: Alfred Blue - Not even liking this pick aside from his last name.
RB: Wendyellow Smallwood - Should get some touches with injuries in the Eagles backfield.
TE: Hugo Boss-tin Hooper - Cincy might overly focus on Jones and Ridley.
W/T: Ricky Teals-(Herring)bones - Every week I pick this foo; hoping Osh Kosh b'Josh Rosen helps him.
W/R: Kelvin Benetton - Bills have got some swag for once.
W/R: Brandon Marshalls - Gotta get those discount clothes.
K: Robbie Gouldenrod - Only field goals from now on with Jimmy Choo on IR.
DEF: New Orleans Paints - They're so bad, but so it Eli.

2018 Roster Freak Out - Week 3

Earlier this week, I posed the question to myself of what Simpsons characters best reflect the teams in our league. Why? It's best not to trouble one's head pondering the inanity that consumes my own.

I have a sweet jigsaw puzzle of this exact image.

Of course, I brought that mental exercise to its natural conclusion in the following blog post. Here are my takes:

• Sweaty Sac: Moe Szyslak
• Sure, he'll act like he's willing to trade you that jar of pickled eggs... but you're never gonna get that jar of pickled eggs.
• Nickel Blitz: Lenny Leonard
• Likes a mug of Duff, not quite sure how he works at the nuclear factory finishes in the top 3 so often, and wears a green shirt often (Celts).
• Chicago Ferrets: Carl Carlson
• His IQ is 214 (real stat on Wiki), he's got some Scandinavian heritage, and has a rare air of competence not ordinarily seen in Springfield.
• Neat Team: Groundskeeper Willie
• His team is a collection of untamed personalities (OBJ, AB, Marshawn); has got foreign roots and an accent.
• mangenius: Nelson Muntz
• Enjoys nothing more than a fantasy beatdown, and his QBs (Cam, Big Ben) are bruising bastards.
• smackycat: Ned Flanders
• That friendly but annoying neighbor who always does well, placing in 3 of the last 4 years. Stupid league-winning Flanders!
• Cash4Gould: Principal Skinner
• A good citizen of the league, and picking Le'Veon and Dez was the most "steamed hams" moment in league history.
• Doge Flutie: Krusty the Clown
• Amusement to cover up a lifetime of poor roster management and lack of league success.

2018 Roster Freak Out - Week 2

There's a storm coming... and it's definitely not the RFO based on last week's performance.

Hope none of you live in the Carolinas. I'm in DC so the bigger issue will be flooding. #soggydoge

2018 Roster Freak Out - Week 1

Like in past years: imagine you didn't show up for the fantasy draft, and auto-draft wasn't even working, leaving you with a completely empty roster to start the year. Who would you pick up to play each week?

Derp.

That's the premise of my weekly Roster Freak Out series, which I totally forgot to do yesterday, so now I'm stuck picking only players who are unowned for the Sunday and Monday nights games. If my team of rejects outscores any of the UMassBallers, I score that as a W. If not, it's a L.

We'll have to find out whether an 8-team league improves or worsens the RFO. My guess is this year will be nearly impossible since there are so many more roster slots to fill. But the RFO is nothing if not intrepid - let's roll...

Confused but Amused - Recapping the 2018 UMassBallers Draft

This year's draft had a variety of firsts:

• First time drafting with 8 teams
• First time drafting with 2 QB slots to fill
• First time with 20 total roster spots to fill (previously 16)
• First time Doge Flutie spent the most money on a player ($60 for Todd Gurley II)

I'm still at a loss as to what the appropriate draft strategy should have been, but I'm pretty sure spending over half my money on just 10% of my player slots was NOT the answer.

Seemed like a good idea at the time...

That being said, a doge's enthusiasm never wavers, which is why I mustered the wherewithal to push work aside and focus on what matters, which is a fast-react recap of the draft. Read on to see who my "gold grabs" and "pyrite picks" were.

2018 Fantasy Football Is On! - All Doge Team

It's official - fantasy football is a thing that is happening. The UMassBallers league, minus several Minutemen over the years, is totes real and something that will occur this very Fall. Against all odds, there is - alas - a league!

Our league.

In celebration that our fantasy football league is still not dead yet, I got irrationally excited at the prospect of sharing more doge memes and have compiled my All-Doge team. I challenge any meme-themed team to go toe-to-toe against this "wow" lineup.

QB: Pom Brady
WR: Doge Baldwin
RB: Doge Martin
TE: Jordan Breed
W/T:  German Shepard
W/R: Giovani St. Bernard
K: Adam Vinaterrier
DEF: Philadelphia Beagles
Head Coach: Doge Pederson

Needless to say, hands off these players in the draft Wednesday... and good luck this season!

2017 UMassBallers Season Revue - Fur a Meowment Like This

Well, it was a rough year in football with lots of injuries, political drama, and replay controversy, but above all, it was technically a season of pro football. And with that season, the UMassBallers played a virtual game of points based on player statistics where, each week, the team with more points versus its competitor would be credited with a win, until finally, in Week 16, we would have a champion. The name of that champion? Smackycat!

Smackycat was one of two elite teams in UMassBallers this year along with Bear Down, who scored well above 100 points per week, but in the end, smackycat brought home the trophy with a better performance in Week 16. The only other team that scored a decent amount of points was the defending champion Chicago Ferrets, but let's be real, they used up all their good luck last year.

Our feline overlord wasn't the only interesting storyline from the fantasy season though - click below to take a look at all the hindsight analysis of the draft, recaps of game-changing transactions, and other rando happenings in TDZ's annual UMassBallers season synopsis!