It's been a few years, but TDZ is back to talk about fantasy basketball and has put together its exclusive 2016-2017 All-Kevin Love Team!
Oh wow. Huh. I totally forgot this was a thing.
What variables qualifies a player to be on the AKL Team? To be concise, chronic under-utilization which, if corrected for, would yield huge fantasy dividends. That is, a player who would stuff the stat sheet if he got more minutes. Selections must average fewer than 20 minutes per game, and obviously we want to skew towards younger players who haven't been discovered yet, not veterans who are just having their minutes monitored.
Past alums of this illustrious brotherhood include Ryan Anderson, Jeremy Lin (kind of), Ian Mahinmi, Enes Kanter, Ersan Ilyasova, and Lou Williams. Which of these under-the-radar guys will explode onto the NBA fantasy landscape in the coming years?
I think it's safe to say that the RFO earned a playoff berth this year with a 9-4 record (1 forfeit due to lack of team submission).
OK, maybe not - most of the time I was just beating Car RamRod, who has got to be close to the all-time worst team in league history rivaling "The Haha" (real team name: The Brouhaha).
To advance in the playoffs, I've got to outscore one of the actual playoff teams, so if I advance even one round, that would be an incredible feat. Here are my picks - this will either be my worst team of the year, or the most brilliant picks of all-time:
QB: Carson Balmer - There is a balm in Miami to make the RFO whole.
WR: Chris Shogun - Gronk and Amendola injured, so I like his odds for targets.
RB: Flex Burkhead - Has a regular role and up against Browns; due for TD.
TE: C.J. Breed-or-a-mix - The only guy Osweiler can get the ball to consistently.
W/T: Andrew Walk-ins - Deep sleeper; Griffin tends to like taking shots downfield.
W/R: Freddie Fart-ino - Never heard of this guy, but he's stepping up due to injuries in a great match-up with the Saints.
W/R: Cat Asiata - Hoping for that classic 1 yard TD against the Jags.
K: Kai Forbath - Great match-up with Jags, and a great name for Ryan's son.
DEF: Indianapolis Jolts - Dialing up Indy in back-to-back weeks as they look underrated of late. Osweiler stinks.
Another week, another W, looks like the RFO is cruising to a playoff berth! Which is great because Doge Flutie is stumbling the last few weeks and probably not gonna do much in the playoffs. But...
QB: Alex Whiff - He always disappoints when I pick him, but I like QB's when they play in domes.
WR: Kenny Thrills - With Devante Parker on the shelf, I'm actually pretty excited to start this guy.
RB: Pain Washington - Just gimme a non-Ebron goal-line TD.
TE: Ladarius Spleen - Time to finally not drop a TD.
W/T: Marquise Hoodwinked - So few Bills receivers, but also so few pass attempts.
W/R: Chris Slogan - Due for a TD, and without Gronk I'm expecting more spread offense.
W/R: Denard Blobinson - It's garbage time for the Jags as usual, which is Denard's time to shine!
K: Phil Awesome - Niners offense hasn't been AS bad.
DEF: Indianapolis Dolts - Just asking for one more of those 6 INT games from Fitzy.
QB: Ryan Blandfill - Blandfill: when your mashed potatoes don't have flavor and sit like a rock in your stomach.
WR: Adam Congealin' - When that gravy starts getting a skin on it.
RB: Benny Cunning-ham - Not a fan of this 'ham or actual ham on Turkey Day. Tryptophan only, please.
TE: Will Pie - Can't stop picking Pie for the RFO.
W/T: Marqise Pea - Don't forget space on your plate for a veggie.
W/R: Eli Pudgers - We are all Pudgers after the feast.
W/R: Davante Add Yams - Usually has a plump number of targets.
K: Andrew Thanks - Let us have gratitude that no one actually has to trot out this team.
DEF: Tennessee "Belt" Tightens - Don't be shy to let your gut out and watch Fat Barkley and the depleted Bears scuffle on Sunday.
I know it's football season, but I have to share a couple amusing soccer .gif's I came across this week. How are these goalies so unaware of their surroundings and what the other team is up to.
Ugh, is the football season over yet? I'm about ready to hit the snooze bar - wake me up when the playoffs are here.
QB: Joe Whacko - Dallas secondary is dealing with injuries; let's see if Joe is elite or not.
WR: Jeremy Squirrelly - '9ers will likely be in catch-up mode all afternoon, making Squirrelly a garbage time special.
RB: Chris Stomp-some - Game flow will likely give him more snaps this week.
TE: Dennis Knitta - He'll knit together a masterpiece game if he doesn't get injured first.
W/T: Will Try - He's supplanted Barely Donnell and has nice target totals in his last 2 games.
W/R: Kendall Sprite - I like a receiver in a high yield offense, and Titans are on fire against middling Colts D.
W/R: Tyler Sprocket - No receiving TDs this year? He's due.
K: Sebastian Man-and-cow-ski - Man and cow skiing, future 2018 Olympic sport.
DEF: Pittsburgh Squealers - Against the Browns? Talk about a lay-up.
Well, the election happened this week. I'm not going to get into any kind of political discussion. All I'll say is that this was my favorite campaign poster:
QB: Jay Butler - Expecting a shoot-out with the Bucs.
WR: Ted Chin, Jr. - KC DB's have been torched by speedsters before, and not as good on the road.
RB: Kenneth Fixin' - Gradually getting a larger share of snaps, trying to get back to preseason form.
TE: Jesse Shames - Due for a TD, otherwise SHAME!
W/T: Virgil Keen - Due for his first TD of the year, otherwise SHAME!
W/R: C.J. Procheese - Expect a lot of passing fromages (formations), which is all gouda for Procheese.
W/R: Dorial Mean-Heckle'em - He's been trolling the RFO for weeks, but ATL DB's struggle against larger receivers.
K: Slick Slovak - Everyone's favorite Bratislava booter is back in the RFO.
DEF: Chicago Dares - Three straight top-10 performances with lots of sacks; Winston's a turnover factory.
Oh what a week for Chicago sports fans! After 108 years, the Chicago Cubs are MLB champions at last!
I was in the Windy City for work and got to partake in all the thrills of Game 7 and even got to see the parade before flying out. Enjoy some this vid and some pics I took along the way.
I took a video of the parade, but the file size is huge, and I was in the second floor of a candy store that was playing really weird music, so the audio is hilariously bad.
QB: Ballin' Kaepernick - Just hoping he runs against the Aints because his throws look like whiffle balls floating interminably to no destination in particular.
WR: Molding State - 31 targets in his last 3 games.
RB: Jerick McWinnin - Vikings run game has been bad all year... they're due.
TE: Chance Kendricks - Panthers pass D is non-existent, even the Rams might capitalize.
W/T: Black Boil - This Colts TE been a surprising value here and there.
W/R: Marqise Knee - Bortles: so many throws, so little to show for it.
W/R: Dorial Spleen-Wreck'em - Big guy only has 1 TD, c'mon now.
K: Andrew Shanks - Hasn't hit double-digits yet... he's due.
DEF: Dallas Wowboys - Defenses love playing those Browns.
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