Nephews of Jody Reed - Season XI Roll-out

After a weird season without fans, fans like us have a lot of burning questions. Did Trevor Bauer really need to take all winter to select a team? Will San Diego buy all the players? How did they afford both Tatis AND Machado? How much money did they waste to finish after the Dodgers? 

It's time for baseball. It's time for... the Nephews of Jody Reed!

Welcome one and all to the 11th year of NoJR. It looks like we've got a great group of active GMs returning, and we're likely adding a couple new friends to the fold.

Below are some FAQs about the league that I copypasta'd from prior seasons - take a look if you want the 4-1-1 on all things NoJR.

2017 NoJR Season Revue - AJ's Aces Round the Bases

This season summary is 3 years late, but I'll be danged if I have any gaps in cataloguing the illustrious history of the Nephews of Jody Reed fantasy league!

2017 is noteworthy in that it was basically the same season as 2019: it was an Astros vs. Dodgers World Series won by Houston using a sign stealing system. The difference back then is that we didn't know about it, and the city of Houston had suffered damage from back-to-back hurricanes (Harvey and Irma), so people still liked the Astros' story back then.

You know what they say: party today, whistle blow tomorrow.

From a fantasy perspective, 2017 brought with it an expansion from 12 to 14 teams for NoJR, making it a fiercely competitive and active season. One team rose above the fray to win the first championship in the new expanded format, and it was AJ's Aces!

Ready to feel embarrassed? AJ was 1.5 when he won his first chip.

Read on for a season synopsis that looks at the road to the championship, starting with the draft, identifying the top free agents, and a look at how AJ's Aces navigated the playoffs to secure the title.

2020 NoJR Season Revue - Oh, It's Over Already?

That's what she said.

2020 has been a wild, weird, and memorable year for the world, and it was no different for NoJR. We entered our 10th season with a beastly 14 teams and an epic auction draft that was almost longer than the actual season itself. Then COVID shut down everything, we waited for the league and players union to figure out what the heck they were doing, and on July 23rd we finally played ball.

A caption that only makes sense in 2020.

All things considered, I'm shocked the season went as well as it did. When the Marlins had to postpone over a week of games, and then the Cardinals joined in, I thought the season was going to unravel, but teams managed to keep it together enough that fans and fantasy players were able to stay invested.

As for NoJR, we had a lightning quick regular season with just 5 match-ups followed by 3 rounds of playoffs making this a sprint like no other. 

MLB clubs have had significant roster churn such that I probably can't even name half of my favorite team's roster right now (Red Sox); accordingly, we lifted weekly free agent transaction restrictions from 3 to 10, creating a surge of GM activity.

We also expanded the number of playoff teams to 8, meaning over half the league had a shot at the championship.

While the season may have been unique in these many ways, the end result was anything but. For the 3rd year in a row, the Rip City Reavers are champions!

If this guy posts that scene from Serenity one... more... time...

As usual, this season-ending synopsis will review the draft (long, long ago) and the flurry of activity from opening day through our final stanza in what was a weird and unforgettable year.

They're Making a Sonic Movie

And they "revamped" Sonic's look in their latest trailer.

At left was their first effort, and I die laughing every time I look at it. Enjoy.

2019 NoJR Season Revue - A Reav-ent to Remember

The 2019 season of NoJR is officially in the books, and our 9th edition was the biggest and baddest yet. Fourteen teams and numerous records set, including total transactions, trades, and home runs.

We also witnessed quite a degree of league parity - you basically had one team firmly atop the standings (St. Hubert), one team firmly in the cellar (Bats R Us), and everyone else fighting for a playoff spot.

In the end, after a long and fiercely competitive season, the defending champion Reavers were able to get hot at the right time and keep the NoJR trophy in Rip City. The Reavers are now 5-time champions, going back-to-back for the second time in franchise history.

Reavers!

Of course, there were many other notable happenings on the winding journey to October, and TDZ's got your season-ending synopsis for all things 2019 NoJR.  As usual, we'll review the draft way back in March, and the key transactions and moments that made this year one for the record books.

When You Had a Bad Draft...

UMassBallers... Burning Questions for 2019

It's crazy to think that the league is entering its 12th year, and while I'd like to think we've seen it all over that time frame, every season seems to have its own set of unique circumstances and new wrinkles.

Here's what I see as the burning questions for the Ballers in 2019:

1. Above all else, just how neat will Neat Team be this year? Will we know on draft day? Or will we have to wait til midseason for peak neatness?

2. Will this fantasy league consume Tribe's attention to an extent that he only watches Red Zone and can avoid the blindness induced from watching Redskins games?

3. Will we have the first 3-time league champion this year? Chicago Ferrets, Nickel Blitz, and smackycat have all won 2 titles, meaning there's roughly a 30% chance that we see this feat accomplished.

4. In 2017, Sweaty Sac set a league record with 133 transactions. Last year, he had a disappointing 99. Will he return to triple-digits... or perhaps set an all-new record in 2019?

5. Will Cash4Gould get the cash he demands every year?

• Answered: Robbie Gould got a 4-year, $19 million contract - just not with the Bears. Also, he's not actually Cash4Gould. (Or is he?)

6. How can smackycat be smacky if he's stuffed into that cardboard tube like a purrito?

7. Will mangenius deploy an auto-draft strategy again after ending up with an absolutely loaded lineup in 2018 that included Melvin Gordon, Christian McCaffrey, Tyreek Hill, Mike Evans, and 3 QB1's (Russell Wilson, Big Ben, and Cam Newton)?

8. Are ferrets just land otters? (Important otter footage)

9. Will anyone be able to out-bid Nickel Blitz when it comes to Tom Brady?

• Plot twist: Nickel Blitz has drafted Tom Brady each of the past 3 years. The last time he didn't draft Tom Brady was the last time he won a championship.

10. What are the odds that Adam's Expert Team gets asked by my young nephew what a Sweaty Sac is?

11. Will Doge Flutie repeat?

12. Is there a word for a rhetorical question where the answer is not "yes," but rather a very obvious "no"?

NoJR 2k19 Mid-way Musings

It's half-time for the 2019 season, and it's been fascinating to watch it unfold. Every playoff spot is very much up-for-grabs - as important players get injured, new stars emerge, and rookies join The Show, there's truly no way of telling who will emerge on top. What I do know is that this has been the most competitive seasons of NoJR in league history, and it's been incredibly fun to see teams slugging it out each week.

Cody Bellinger is leading St. Hubert in homers and fans rushing the field.

In this article, I recap some storylines shaping the 2019 season, and do a quick roster-by-roster summary to celebrate stars and disparage duds for each team.

NoJR Season IX Roll-out *REPOST*

Do you feel it? The weather's getting warmer. The sun is up longer. Bartolo Colon has emerged from his hibernation slumber in search of a new team. It's time for baseball. It's time for... the Nephews of Jody Reed!

It's called packing on the pounds for winter, guys. He just had a head start.

Welcome one and all to the 9th year of NoJR. It looks like we've got a great group of active GMs returning, and we're adding a couple new friends to the fold, so 2019 is shaping up to be a fun year of baseball.

Below are some FAQs about the league that I copypasta'd from prior seasons - take a look if you want the 4-1-1 on all things NoJR.

Doge Flutie History

TBT to a special night receiving the Heisman...

2018 UMassBallers Season Revue: Doged Determination

This is truly a special time of year. A season of hope. A season of good cheer. A season of miracles. And the greatest miracle of all? Doge Flutie has finally won the UMassBallers!!!

The league has existed for 11 seasons, 10 of which I have participated in. It wasn't til my 9th season that I even placed in the top 3, and in #10 I finally reached the summit! You have witnessed a fantasy football fanatic finally reach peak performance luck!

Houston, we have touchdown.

This year was unique for a variety of reasons: only 8 teams in the league, but also more roster spots (including 2 QBs), and it was winner-takes-all. Does this mean, after a decade of contributing to other GM's checking accounts that I finally managed to break even? Let's do the math:

• 2009-2013: $20 per season ($100 total)
• 2014-2018: $100 per season ($500 total)
• 2018 winnings: $800
• Net result: +$200

It's like Frank Drebin said in The Naked Gun: "Well, well, it looks like the cows have come home to roost." All that futility managed to amount to something!

There were many other interesting events and storylines from the fantasy season though, so let's revel in all of the moments that made the 2018 UMassBallers season weird special. Click below to take a look at all the hindsight analysis of the draft, recaps of game-changing transactions, and other rando happenings in TDZ's annual UMassBallers season synopsis!

2018 Roster Freak Out - Week 14

I've got an important update from Mars: InSight rocks and it's registering sounds from the red planet.

My favorite part from NASA's update: the word Marsquakes. This changes everything....

2018 Roster Freak Out - Week 13

Don't have much time to write a post this week, so here's a grab-bag of naming conventions based on player positions. They're not all winners, but rarely is the RFO.

QB: Mace Keenum - Throwin' them purple lightsaber darts.
QB: Marcus Mariyoda - Disappoint me he will.
WR: Spike Williams - C'mon Spike! Untie these knots. Spike? SPIKE!
WR: Captain Kirk - There's... someone on the wing. Some... THING!
RB: Jalen Richarlemagne - He was the last dude standing in Europe, and he'll be the last dude standing in Oakland's offense.
RB: Francis I Gore - He reigned for 21 years, or roughly 1/10th the duration of Gore's NFL career.
TE: Hangin' with Mr. Hooper - Football = TGIS TV.
W/T: Matt Who's La Boss? - I don't know, I never watched it.
W/R: Dr. Quinn Enunwa - Don't mind me, Mr. Quinn! I'm just a curious little rhino.
W/R: Carlos V Hyde - "Iron hand in a velvet glove." More like sluggish lad in a round body.
K: Stephen Hawking - "My goal is simple. It is a complete understanding of the universe, why it is as it is, and why the kicker position exists in fantasy football."
DEF: Buffalo Bill Nye - The football guy.

2018 Roster Freak Out - Week 12

Happy Dogegiving!

QB: Drumstick Mullens - A generous helping of TB D will fill the stat sheet.
QB: Nosh Allen - The Bills are back, baby.
WR: Pecan Brown - He'll be the recipient of 30 of 100 Ravens passing yards.
WR: Corn on the Cobb - I'm only picking him because it's Thanksgiving.
RB: De(-on) Lewcious - Sweaty Sac castoff will suddenly be a fantasy beast!
RB: Frank Corn - He's literally #4 on the all-time rushing list.
TE: Toothpick Vannett - Carolina randomly gives up the most TE points.
W/T: Dish Herndon - Pats to suffer from Hern burns.
W/R: Cape Codwin - So many Bucs passing yards to go around.
W/R: DeVante Pumpkin - Him or Kenny Chills is gonna go off... probably Chills.
K: Cake Elliott - Eagles are so mediocre, and I'm lovin' it.
DEF: Washington Turkeyskins - Scored 9 or more points in 5 of their last 6.

2018 Roster Freak Out - Week 11

Evidently an oddly shaped interstellar asteroid flew threw our solar system recently, called 'Oumuamua. It's 6x longer than it is wide, making it unlike any asteroid in our solar system (and it may actually be a comet).

What's most fascinating to me is that the object apparently displays "nongravitational acceleration." The prevailing notion is this is the cause of "outgassing" - a process whereby solar heat warms frozen gasses on the surface to provide a form of propulsion. This is not to be confused with the better known form of outgassing, which is when a person is running and gets extra propulsion from their own farts.

The alternate explanation is that this object is actually an alien probe sent from another star system to gather data on ours. This hypothesis is basically Star Trek IV but with a much less cranky probe - which is pretty sweet.

Whatever the case may be: we need to save the whales (especially humpbacks).

2018 Roster Freak Out - Week 10

I'm traveling for a wedding so an extra lazy RFO for this week.

QB: Pick Mullens - Let's see if last week's performance was for real; New Spork's D is totes bad.
QB: Josh Chosen - Gonna need to pass 100 times to keep up with the Beefs.
WR: Psych Williams - He'll have his one catch for a touchdown, and that's good enough for me.
WR: John Floss - Maybe this will be the one game where he justifies his draft position.
RB: Giovani Spurnard - Bengals will be playing from behind all day long.
RB: Lost In Ekeler - He randomly explodes from time to time.
TE: Benjamin Squatson - Bengals are giving up lost of points to TEs.
W/T: Jared Shook - Someone's gonna need to catch passes in Croakland.
W/R: Terrelle Friar - This is my super duper deep sleeper, hoping he replaces Sharkley at QB!
W/R: King Dedede Westbrook - Chortles is back from the bye and ready to lose his job.
K: Jason Squires - Jets offense is pretty bad - nothing but FGs.
DEF: Indianapolis Molts - Because Chortles.

2018 Roster Freak Out - Week 9

Wow, my dogers. Just wow. Another improbable victory for the RFO as I edged Cash4Gould, bringing my season record up to a robust 2-6. I'm in Chicago Ferrets territory now!

I know there's a big election coming up Tuesday (Vote.), but I need to bring your attention to startling international news: a Russian kid claims he lived on Mars and was reborn on Earth... and for some reason, there are people who aren't outright dismissing him. (Link 1 and 2)

"My parents enable me." - This kid, probably.

His parents think he's real special. He could talk, write, draw at early ages (probably just gibberish).
At 7, he first concocted a story that he lived on Mars a long time ago, and that they had incredible technology and wiped each other out in a nuclear war. Evidently he visited Earth before they all died, and Martians have ties to ancient Egyptian culture. Furthermore, there's a way to "open" the Sphinx if you locate something by its ear.

Evidently this kid is in his early 20's now, but I can't find any recent information about him. My hunch is that he is an "entrepreneur" with a now ironic mullet in Brooklyn.

Done Did the Damage: the 2018 Boston Red Sox

Playoff baseball season has a smell. Do you know it? I've found the smell more noticeable in New England compared to other parts of the country, but perhaps that's because I connect it to childhood memories.

I first notice it when the soothing warmth of Summer transitions to the crisp cool of Fall. Suddenly, there's a subtle edge to the atmosphere. Leaves start dying on their branches. I believe that's where the smell originates: nature taking a sharp turn toward it's perennial period of decay. Yet, when I inhale and exhale that cool air, I feel more alive than I have for many warm, sluggish months. Nature's clock is winding down. Winter is coming. Anything you want to accomplish this year, it's now or never. It's do or die. There is a harmonic amplification between these vibrations and those of playoff baseball - one intensifies the other, and vice versa.

Baseball players returned to work over half a year ago at this point. Over the many summer months, the season has less of a smell and more of a hum. Day in, day out, the games tick by. There are certainly exciting moments during the season, but it's difficult to pinpoint when those moments occurred. The regular season is a marathon. Every step on that marathon technically matters, but you're more likely to remember the rhythm than the individual footfalls.

That all changes in October. Suddenly every pitch, swing, hit, and decision is scrutinized and memorable. As a Red Sox fan, what a memorable month it was, culminating in the team's 9th overall championship and the 4th of the 21st century. This team became the winningest in franchise history (108), eclipsing the team's previous record of 105 wins set in 1912 by a squad led by Tris Speaker and Smoky Joe Wood. More importantly, they are world champions.

How did this team succeed to such a remarkable degree in today's game, which has evolved so drastically since a century ago? Let's take a look at some of the biggest trends in baseball, and then put a spotlight on the players that comprised this latest championship team for Boston.

2018 Roster Freak Out - Week 8

Halloween is just around the corner, and rather than do a write-up (because I'm lazy), I'm just going to allow you to gaze upon this incredible pumpkin carving of Thanos from Avengers.

Credit to Redditor DoggieDoc3.

The detail is seriously exquisite. Can you imagine the precision to get the shading just right without accidentally puncturing the pumpkin too much? Totes awesome. Here's a time-lapse video of it, too.

2018 Roster Freak Out - Week 7

They (I) said it couldn't be done... the RFO is on a one week winning streak!

It's Fall now, and it's a great time for Fall foliage. I recently learned that the largest organism in the world is actually an interconnected set of trees (tree?) called Pando that also creates beautiful fall foliage. Here's a picture below:

You can get more large organism fun here.